This feels like a massive betrayal!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My friends and I recently went on a picnic, and we got into a very serious argument. During the fight, one of them told me that he had an affair with my ex-girlfriend. He apologised the next morning and said he was just saying this to upset me, but I confronted her via WhatsApp, and she didn't deny it, saying it was the past and I should move on. I have a feeling he did have an affair and is lying to me to spare my feelings. This is a huge betrayal of trust because he is one of my closest friends and should have known that this isn't something anyone can forgive. We have met a few times since then, but the atmosphere is strained because I feel as if I can't trust him anymore. Should I accept what my ex is saying and move on, or confront him and tell him that we can't be friends anymore? Am I being hasty or making an emotional decision?
What you refer to as an emotional decision is based upon how you feel, which is hurt, angry, and betrayed. These are all valid feelings, and they are justified given the circumstances. Your ex-girlfriend may be able to move on because you are no longer part of her life, but it is up to you to decide if you want to forgive your friend based upon how strongly you feel about saving this friendship. Without trust, it is never going to work. If he admits to the truth, you can decide if there is a possibility of forgiveness, provided it is unconditional. If he admits nothing, you have to decide if you are prepared to accept his word and then drop the matter. Give it a few days, spend some time away from him, and think about what you are prepared to accept or reject. Your relationship with your friend cannot be fixed by brushing this issue under the carpet, so a difficult conversation may be the only possible solution.

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