I don’t gel with my friends anymore

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Is it normal to feel lonely even when one is out with friends? I didn't feel like this when I was I college but, since I began working, I can't connect with people I have spent years with. It's not as if I am depressed or stressed, and there is nothing wrong with my life, so I don't understand why or how my feelings towards these people have changed. I try to be nice, and chat with them as often as possible so they don't know that anything is wrong, but I have to force myself to be enthusiastic whenever we have to meet and I don't know how much longer I can keep up this pretence. What should I do?
There is nothing wrong with feeling the way you do, because we all get to a place where we sometimes can't connect with people from our past. One of the more common things that happens is people drift because their circumstances and environment are no longer the same. Being in a corporate space, earning a living, and evolving as an adult are all removed from the world of college where one can exist as if in a cocoon. If your interests have changed, you may no longer find it easy to have conversations about things that don't occupy you much longer. You don't have to pretend to do anything, but understand that friendships, like all relationships, change over time. You may feel differently about these friends a few years from now, so try distancing yourself a little rather than letting them go. Meet new people and see what happens instead.

Should I send a flirtatious text to someone I really like, who just gave me her number a while ago?
Why not ask her out for coffee instead, and gauge how she feels about you before sending any message that may be misconstrued? Flirting is fine but understand your boundaries first.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com