I have feelings for his friend...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have a boyfriend, but I also have a huge crush on his friend, which makes things very awkward when I am around them both. It's not as if I don't love my boyfriend, but I often get the feeling that his friend and I are more compatible. We have more interesting conversations, we seem to have a lot more in common with each other, and I just get the overall sense that things would be better in my life if I was with him rather than my boyfriend. I feel like a selfish person for even thinking this because my boyfriend is a great person, but I can't deny my feelings either and feel confused all the time. What should I do about this?
If you feel as if you aren't as compatible with your boyfriend as you would like to be, you can either think about addressing those specific issues or be honest and ask yourself is this relationship is really working. Put aside your feelings for his friend until you can resolve how you feel about the relationship you are currently in. Being with someone because they are nice may not be reason enough, because your dissatisfaction seems real and is probably manifesting in this crush on someone else. You know nothing about his friend's feelings for you, but you do owe your boyfriend some honesty and clarity about where things stand between you, and whether you see a future with him. Work on those questions first and think about being with someone else after you know where this current relationship is going. It will just make your life less complicated.

How do I know if someone wants to be with me because they genuinely like me or because they just want to get into bed with me?
You don't need to have a physical relationship with anyone until you have a better idea of who they are and if their feelings for you are genuine. You can take as much time as you need.

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