Why is he so miserly always?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am married to a man who is incredibly miserly and doesn't spend on anything unless he thinks it's important. When I ask him about this, he says it is because he wants to secure our financial future. He earns a lot more than I do, which restricts my ability to purchase some things that I would like to. I feel helpless because it's as if my feelings aren't respected. I don't want to argue about it because his reasons are sound, but we are very different people when it comes to handling money, and I don't believe in his way of depriving ourselves in the present just to be secure in the future. How do I resolve this without causing serious harm to our marriage? I love my husband and don't have any serious issues with him apart from this one.
Financial differences can cause multiple problems if they aren't dealt with seriously. You and your husband are both entitled to your points of view, but this imbalance of power caused by what you individually earn needs to be addressed if you want to have a healthy relationship going forward. Your husband may earn more than you but managing purchases can still be a joint decision that can involve a bit of compromise on both your parts. If he doesn't understand the importance of focusing on the present as well as the future, this can have an impact on other aspects of your relationship as a couple. Don't shy away from this conversation by thinking of it as an argument, because addressing it as soon as possible can only help you both get to a healthier, more transparent way of functioning.

Should I be more proactive when it comes to asking guys out? My friends say I am too shy, and I want to change that.
If you want to go out with someone, nothing stops you from reaching out. How often you choose to do this simply depends upon whether you want to meet more people.

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