I’d like us to be more than friends

Illustration/Uday Mohite

How do I tell if someone is more than a friend based on how they interact? I have been close to this guy for years and I have recently felt as if he likes me in a romantic way, which I am not disturbed by at all. I have begun to change how I look at him too, but neither of us is saying anything specific. I don't think I am imagining this because we know each other quite well, but I also don't want to be the first person to bring it up in conversation because he is probably trying to figure out what to say. If this is not true and I am completely off the mark, I don't want our friendship to suffer because I think he is a very important person in my life. At the same time, after my feelings for him appear to have changed, I want him to acknowledge this and I am thinking about a relationship. What should I do?
Friendship is about being honest with people even if the conversation appears to be a difficult one. If you're worried about awkwardness ruining your friendship, it's not as strong as you imagine it to be. Also, if your friend doesn't have feelings for you, and this is a misunderstanding, the easiest way to get your friendship back on track is to get it out of the way and remove all guesswork. Maybe you're right and he just needs time to articulate how he feels, but waiting for him to say something only increases the chances of you misinterpreting anything he says or does. Ask him if you're reading too much into this, and deal with this like two adults having a conversation about their feelings.

I have been dating a girl for four months and realise that I don't really feel strongly about her in any way. If this relationship ends, I won't be upset. Should I tell her this?
You should be honest because you owe her that much.

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