Hate her, but can’t tell her how I feel...

08 January,2022 05:22 AM IST |  Mumbai  |  Dr Love

He may have problems with commitment, but you have to do what is right for you too. If you feel the two of you need to have that conversation, you should simply introduce it whenever you think the time is right

Illustration/Uday Mohite


I have serious issues with my girlfriend but can't confront her because I am afraid of how she may react. I don't trust her, and hate going on dates with her because she is often rude and boring. We have great sex, and she loves me a lot, which is the only reason we have managed to stay together for as long as we have, but it is starting to affect my mental health because it feels as if everything about our relationship is a lie. She has no idea about how I feel, because I have always been careful to pretend as if things are great, but I am starting to think that not breaking up with her will only lead to serious complications going forward. She recently spoke about moving this to the next level and I agreed with her, which frightens me because it will only make this harder for me to be honest with her. What should I do?
I'm not sure how anyone can help, given that you already have your answer and are simply refusing to act upon it. The longer you wait, the worse it becomes for you as well as your girlfriend, and this is only going to affect your mental health more as you continue to live a life of pretence. I suggest you speak to her as soon as possible and deal with how she reacts when she has had time to process this. To lie is harmful as well as extremely disrespectful. You owe her, as well as yourself, the truth.

How can I tell my boyfriend that he should ask for my hand in marriage without trying to be too pushy? He has problems with commitment, so I am afraid of coming on too strong.
He may have problems with commitment, but you have to do what is right for you too. If you feel the two of you need to have that conversation, you should simply introduce it whenever you think the time is right.

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