Should I have a kid with married man?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 29-year old woman and have been in a relationship with a married man for two years. His marriage is a sham because it was arranged by both families and his wife knows about me. I was okay with this arrangement because we love each other and know that he will lose everything if he ends his marriage. They have to keep up appearances because his financial situation will change overnight if they don't stay together. This has not been a problem for us because he spends as much time with me as he can and only goes home on weekends. He has no children with his wife and has been asking me to consider having his child. I want to but am concerned because this arrangement suits me but may not necessarily be the right one for my child. I am confused. I love him and want us to be parents but can't think of a solution. What should I do?
You are describing an adulterous relationship, irrespective of how rosy you make it sound. If your partner is married, he is committing adultery, and there are laws that go against this. When you speak of having a child outside wedlock, you also impose your decision on a child who may or may not be able to cope with the idea of a father who is married to another woman. There are also legal implications that you haven't considered, and should. The two of you may be in love and may also be the best parents. That doesn't change the fact that there will be unforeseen consequences for you as well as your child as the years go by. If he is unwilling to be with you legally because he is afraid of his monetary situation changing, what position does that put you in? Where do you see yourself a few years from now, if he is still married and you have to explain this to your child? I suggest you speak to a lawyer.

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