How do I handle her threats?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for about a year and, whenever we have a serious argument about anything, she threatens to leave me. She had a bad breakup before she met me, and has always told me that she struggles to be with people because she was badly hurt by her ex. I keep that in mind all the time and try being as patient as I possibly can, but it sometimes feels as if she uses this as a weapon to make sure nothing critical can be said about her. I don't know what to do because if I can't speak my mind and am always afraid that she will break up because of something I said, I will end up being resentful of her. I can't even explain this to her because she will misinterpret it as some kind of personal attack. How do I resolve this without losing her?
No relationship can survive if it is built on fear, and a partner threatening to leave you to avoid an argument is not someone you can accept forever. Arguments are critical because they help establish boundaries, enhance understanding, and can lead to a healthy exchange of expectations that allow two people to build a strong foundation together. When your partner avoids an argument, she isn't just avoiding criticism, she is also preventing you both from growing stronger together. If you can't tell her that, or have a conversation about it, this hurdle will be permanent. It is only a matter of time before your resentment spills over into something that harms you both.

I have been grieving the loss of a friend and my boyfriend has been ignoring me. Is this a red flag or am I just being too sensitive at the moment?
A reliable companion is meant to offer support. You are allowed to feel whatever you want to, and if your partner isn't as supportive as you would like them to be, that behaviour deserves to be called out.

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