I think I’m too shy to find anyone...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 24-year-old woman and think I am too shy to ever find someone to be in a relationship with. I try and have conversations with guys, but nothing really leads to anything. I have been on a few dates too, but don't know what to say after a few minutes and they all end early. It's frustrating because I know I have a lot to talk about, but I can't get over the fact that my shyness will make it impossible for me to hold any discussion for too long. My friends say they can't introduce me to anyone because I don't say much, and the guys just lose interest very quickly. What can I do to change this aspect of my personality? All my friends are dating, except me, and I feel left out very often.
If you have friends, it means you are capable of holding conversations as well as maintaining relationships. Don't be too hard on yourself, because it can have an impact on your self-confidence. As for shyness, there is nothing wrong with your communication skills because they can be learned and improved upon. It sometimes takes time for people to figure out how to speak to members of the opposite sex, which is perfectly okay because it affects both genders. One of the things you can do is stop treating these meetings as a precursor to some kind of relationship, and simply look at them as extensions of your network. Try speaking to new people with a view to getting to know them better. That way, if something turns into a date, it will feel more natural. Give yourself time to fail until you gain more confidence, which will happen.

I got married two months ago and already feel as if this isn't going to last. What should I do?
Try and be more specific about what isn't working, speak to your partner, and try being honest about your feelings because you have nothing to lose by not speaking up.

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