How do I get over a break-up?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

How do I get over relationships that have failed and be stronger? I have been in two relationships so far and both ended badly, which has made it hard for me to date people for months. I tend to think about what happened and why, and this makes me question my behaviour. I have been told that I get depressed after a relationship fails and that this makes it difficult for anyone to be happy with me when we are out together. I don't want to be depressed about it constantly, obviously, but I can't just pretend to be happy with someone new. What should I do?
You can understand and accept that it's okay to be unhappy or sad about the end of a relationship because it's how all human beings process a sense of loss. You are grieving and are allowed to, for however long it takes. If you know it takes you time to get over something and process what has happened, it may make sense to give yourself breathing room and not bring anyone new into your life until you are ready to move on. The idea that jumping back into dating can help you get over someone may work for some people, but not for everyone. Recognising who you are and being kinder to yourself takes time but is worth it if you want to grow as an individual. Don't worry about your feelings and try accepting them as normal instead.

My girlfriend forgot that I had booked a trip for us a few weeks ago and made other plans with her friends. She says she can't cancel because it involves too many people. I haven't spoken to her since she told me this and she says I am being unreasonable, but how is this my fault?
Everyone makes mistakes. You can choose to be angry with her for forgetting about your plans or simply accept that her reasons are valid. It all depends upon how much you value her, and your relationship.

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