He doesn’t speak about his ex...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend's ex-girlfriend was a slim, beautiful woman and he was obviously in love with her. They were together for three years until they broke up, and he began dating me soon after. We have been in a relationship for around six months, and he never speaks of her. All I know about her is from her Facebook page, because I have checked it out a few times. I have tried asking him about what happened, but he is not very open, and it ends up making me feel insecure. I know he loves me, and we have a great bond, but I also end up comparing myself to his ex a lot and worry that he may lose interest in me at some point. How do I stop this?
The problem is yours, not your boyfriend's, because he hasn't given you any indication or grounds for doubt. You say he loves you, and believe you have a good relationship, while acknowledging that you are insecure because of his ex. It's great that you are aware of this, because it means you will be able to put it behind you when you feel more stable in this relationship. Time is a great tool at your disposal because, the more time you spend with your boyfriend and get to know him, the closer you will grow together. It's also possible that he needs more time to open up about his past, given how long his previous relationship lasted. It's his personal life, and his boundaries, so be patient until he is comfortable enough to share his feelings with you.

Should I be this worried about how success may change my girlfriend in the future?
She is already being difficult after getting a huge promotion at the office. You have to be more specific about how her behaviour is bothering you, and open enough to have that conversation with her. Sometimes, all one needs is an honest perspective from someone one trusts, to be able to make some positive changes.

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