Husband says I’m not his type!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My husband recently told me that he regretted marrying me because I wasn't his type. This didn't exactly come as a surprise to me because of our history, but I was still hurt. We have been married for two years and dated for a year before he proposed to me. At the time, I wasn't very sure if he was the one for me, but he was confident that this would be great and rejected my indecision. I could have been more forceful, but I wasn't because I thought I was being unnecessarily wary at the time. Now, given what he has said, I am convinced I should have stuck to my instinct and asked for more time to decide. It feels as if I have thrown my life away. He is not saying much since we had that conversation, but I am preparing to ask for a divorce. Is my decision justified?
There are multiple things that go into deciding whether a relationship has run its course. You and your husband may both feel as if you aren't compatible, which is a solid reason, but you should also consider other implications and evaluate the time you have spent with each other as objectively as possible. Do you love each other, and enjoy spending time with each other? Do you see more bad than good in your relationship as a married couple? Do either of you have specific reasons to explain what you both mean by compatibility, or what does and doesn't work? Try talking about your individual expectations from each other, and how you both see this marriage. If a divorce is inevitable, you can get that clarity only by asking difficult questions and answering them with honesty. Given that you are both considering the end of what was meant to be a lifelong commitment, you owe each other some measure of openness. Also, neither of you has anything more to lose by choosing to withhold information about how you really feel, so why not go there?

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