How can we fix this? Should we assume our friendship as we knew it is over forever?
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My best friend and I decided to get into a relationship a year-and-a-half ago. We talked about it a lot, knew we were taking a risk, but also wanted to try it because we love each other and believed it would make for a great relationship. It didn’t work out for various reasons, and we have been struggling to get back to a state of friendship the way it used to be. She and I both miss the days we had without all this unnecessary resentment and drama but can’t find a way to sort things out without any awkwardness. We knew the danger when we got into this but fell into that trap anyway. How can we fix this? Should we assume our friendship as we knew it is over forever?
Your friendship goes beyond the romantic and can be saved if you both decide to take the time and space to heal. A change of circumstances prompted a change in dynamics between you two, and you have to recognise and acknowledge what happened. This is not going to be easy, because it means relearning your roles and what you mean to each other. Resentment may always linger after a break-up, but it can also disappear when you have a better sense of your priorities going forward. Talk about what you shared and why it was important, accept that things changed for a reason. If you both want it badly enough, it can happen, even if it takes a while longer.
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I don’t know what girls want from me. They are happy to go on dates with me, but never end up in a relationship. This has been going on for months and I don’t know if I am doing anything wrong. What should I say to them?
Why assume a date must evolve into a relationship? I suggest you try putting less pressure on yourself, and on the people you date.
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