We have nothing in common!

It is not easy, but the cycle can be broken with patience and communication

I have been married for a-year-and-a-half and have begun to realise that it was a huge mistake. We had an arranged marriage, and I met my husband four times over six months before agreeing. He is a nice person, but we have absolutely nothing in common and the idea of living the rest of my life with someone I can have no real conversation or connection with is terrifying. It’s not as if I haven’t tried, but this isn’t working, and I stay up on most nights wondering why I did this to myself. He wants children but that frightens me more because it means signing off my life to this family and never loving the person I am with. I think it’s unfair to me, but I am also scared to say something because of how he and our families will react. I don’t know what to do. Please help.
If you can’t imagine spending your life with someone, this is not working and you owe it to him as well as yourself to speak up, irrespective of how anyone reacts. It has to be your decision, of course, but it should be based on what you are willing to give up for a relationship that doesn’t match your wants or expectations. The sooner you have this conversation, the easier it will be because, as you point out, committing to parenthood and family only entrenches you deeper into what is not real love at all. Speak to family members or someone you trust, to get a sense of how best to move this situation forward. Staying silent may seem okay for now but it may lead to something that could be heavier to handle.

Why do men find it difficult to cope with independent women?
The short answer is the patriarchy, but this is a systemic issue that continues to get in the way of gender equality across society. It is not easy, but the cycle can be broken with patience and communication.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com

"Exciting news! Mid-day is now on WhatsApp Channels Subscribe today by clicking the link and stay updated with the latest news!" Click here!