Learn how to communicate the need for respect in a relationship without feeling difficult, and tips to build confidence in dating by embracing your individuality.
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I have been in a relationship with someone for a year now and, a few days ago, he spoke to me in a way that was unacceptable. I told him this and he apologised, but it felt as if he was apologising only so I could move on, not because he genuinely meant it. Since then, I have detected a lack of respect on multiple occasions, as if he has begun to take me and my presence for granted. Part of me wants to forgive him and work on improving our relationship, but I also want him to change how he treats me before things get worse. How do I communicate this to him without making it feel as if I am being unnecessarily difficult?
Asking for mutual respect is not being difficult; it is standing up for yourself and building a strong, healthy relationship. If your partner doesn’t get this, or doesn’t think it is important enough, that is a red flag because it points to an imbalance and lack of compatibility that can spin off in all kinds of ways. There may be no problems between you two now, but not addressing this will be a mistake. Sit him down, tell him why you feel the way you do, and insist on change. Do it not for yourself alone, but for your potential future together.
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My friends are always very successful when it comes to dates and meeting girls. I struggle with it all the time because I am often anxious and don’t have their kind of confidence. The more I struggle, the harder it becomes. What can I do to improve the way I approach girls and get them to like me or at least spend more time talking to me?
You can stop putting pressure on yourself and comparing your life or situation to what happens with your friends. You are an individual and have attributes they don’t. Try meeting girls just to get to know them, and the way you communicate will change.
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