Now and then, some fun!

Here’s a make-believe Border-Gavaskar Trophy series-related conversation between a former journalist grandfather and his cricket-mad 14-year-old grandson, held 50 years later in 2075

Grandpa: Aarya, are you looking forward to waking up tomorrow for the second and final Test of the 2074-75 Border-Gavaskar Trophy? 
Grandson: Yes, I saw the footage of the Indian team training in Coffs Harbour. The place looks beautiful.

Grandpa: Oh, I didn’t realise they are ending the series at Coffs Harbour. You know, 50 years ago, when the 17th BGT was held, the series started in Perth and ended in Sydney. 
Grandson: Did India lose in Perth?
Grandpa: No, in fact India won it very handsomely—by 295 runs—despite being bowled out for 150 on Day One.

Grandson: Wow, how did that happen?
Grandpa: It was because of a fast bowler called Jasprit Bumrah, who showed the Aussies the first signs of him 
going on to be even greater than their very own Dennis Lillee. He even had to take over the role of captain, as the regular skipper Rohit Sharma joined the team later after his wife delivered a child.

Grandson: So this Bumrah chap must have left Indian shores motivated and burdened too with the extra responsibility?
Grandpa: I’m not sure, because Bumrah was not announced as captain when the Rohit-less team left for Australia.
 
Grandson: You are trying to say Rohit or Bumrah did not address the media before the team left? 
Grandpa: Indeed. Only head coach Gautam Gambhir spoke to the media at a breakfast press conference in Mumbai. He stirred the pot.

Grandson: He cooked for the media?
Grandpa: No, no. I meant he controversially said that Australia experts like their former captain Ricky Ponting had no business to comment on India’s form going into the series.

Grandson: So, did India win the series just like what is being predicted for them now?
Grandpa: Oh, you have opened up old wounds. No, we went on to lose 1-3 despite clinching the opening Test, which only a handful of Indian teams managed to do to themselves before 2024-25. But Bumrah claimed 32 wickets in a little over 150 overs.
 
Grandson: Ah, now I see why they were saying Bumrah v Australia…
Grandpa: It was. The batting was terrible at times—although Yashasvi Jaiswal, Nitish Reddy and Virat Kohli scored a century each.

Grandson: Virat Kohli… now that’s a name I have heard before…
Grandpa: Great player, but he just couldn’t resist playing shots outside the off stump. He was probably the biggest disappointment of the series. Even Rishabh Pant under-performed and didn’t do ample justice to his match-turning skills.

Grandson: Pant? What an odd name…
Grandpa: Yes, and our batting legend Sunil Gavaskar took his pants off when Pant played a stupid shot in the Melbourne Test. Gavaskar exclaimed on air, “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”

Grandson: Did India lose the series at the Melbourne Cricket Ground?
Grandpa: No, the scoreline got to 2-1 in favour of Australia. That meant India could win the final Test at Sydney and still keep the Border-Gavaskar Trophy. But there was drama before the first ball was bowled at Sydney.

Grandson: Drama? Was it held at the Sydney Opera House?
Grandpa: Don’t be silly. I meant confusion and chaos. Rohit did not appear for serious training the day before the Test and didn’t even front up to the press. Coach Gambhir refused to confirm if Rohit would be part of the Test.
 
Grandson: So Rohit was injured?
Grandpa: No, Gambhir said there was nothing wrong with Rohit. Gambhir appeared unsurprisingly grumpy and found nothing wrong in Rohit not being around for the traditional pre-Test media briefing. In fact, he said it was not a tradition for a captain to address the media before a Test. But it was. I was hoping some journalist would have told him that. 

Grandson: Give me more of the drama, Grandpa…
Grandpa: As expected, Rohit didn’t play and Bumrah walked out to toss with Pat Cummins yet again. Rohit had apparently opted out of the Test and the following day he gave an interview to the Indian broadcaster to say why he did so. His lack of runs didn’t allow him to block another player’s place.

Grandson: But did the fans and journalists believe him? He could well have been dropped by the travelling selector and coach Gambhir…
Grandpa: I think most of us believed him but what I found most strange was that an actor tweeted about how great of him to drop himself. I was surprised that she was so interested in cricket.

Grandson: So Bumrah couldn’t stop the Aussies from running away with a series win?
Grandpa: Poor chap, he suffered back spasms and midway through the Test, he was rushed to hospital for scans.

Grandson: So what was the extent of injury?
Grandpa: We are still waiting to hear from the BCCI. In any case, they are not answerable to anyone now that ICC no longer exists and cricket is run by the BCCI and played amongst India, Aus and England. And now IPL has become an international tournament, played four times a year. I must go to bed now.

Grandson: Goodnight grandpa. Enjoy the cricket. And don’t disturb me for updates on why X is not playing or Y is not playing. The BCCI do not update the media. The missing players in the XI are either injured, dumped or on paternity leave. 

mid-day’s group sports editor Clayton Murzello is a purist with an open stance. He tweets @ClaytonMurzello 

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