’Women are conditioned to suffer’

Say experts; feel education and affluence don't matter

'Women are conditioned to suffer'

Say experts; feel education and affluence don't matter

25 per cent wives think they should be beaten by their husbands if they neglect the house or children.
3 per cent feel it's okay to be hit when they refuse sex.

u00a055 per cent feel they should be physically punished if they disrespect their in-laws.

Interestingly, these figures are not from rural India's patriarchal society. This is what young, educated and financially independent wives from Delhi have to say.

But it's worse in Mumbai, where about 70 per cent women don't mind being physically abused by their husbands.
Meanwhile, 51 per cent men in Delhi feel there is nothing wrong when they beat their wives, says the survey conducted by BBC World Service Trust.

u00a0
'Men have no respect'

"Our sample audience was the urban middle class, a segment that is known to be financially settled and socially conscious. It's still believable that men don't consider wife- bashing a sin. Worse, how can women accept it?

We move in swanky cars, eat organic food, shop at posh malls, get paid in crores and do every thing to maintain our respect and acceptance in social circle but when it comes to respecting the fairer sex, our senses go for a toss,"u00a0u00a0 said Yvonne MacPherson, country director, BBC World Service Trust, India.

'Conditioned to suffer'

Meanwhile, experts are not surprised by this meek attitude of women who apparently have broken the gender ceiling. "Indian women have been conditioned to believe they're inferior to men. If you make someone believe she is meant to suffer, she will never retaliate," said Dr Bhavna Burmi, psychiatrist, Escorts Hospital.

Even the educated and financially independent suffer in silence. A source close to successful television actor Shweta Tiwary said, "Shweta's husband Raja used to beat her regularly, sleep around with other women and insult her every now and then. But Shweta never retaliated. Only when she realised her suffering had crossed all limits, she decided to protest and file a police complaint."

Money no matter

The research was conducted among a group of male and female radio listeners between the age of 16 and 49 years in Delhi, Mumbai, Jodhpur, Amritsar and Patiala, to assess the attitude of men towards women on various issues such as education, marriage, career, socialisation and health. In Delhi and Mumbai each, approximately 700 people (400 women and 300 men) participated in the survey, which concentrated on affluent neighbourhoods.

"It's a myth that in affluent circles, women are treated with respect. According to the last census in 2001, South Delhi has the maximum female child mortality rate in the country. And the area is home to the richest Delhiites. Some of the mightiest industrialists are from Ludhiana in Punjab but killing of the girl child is rampant there. The equation is very simple: when you have money, you have power. So you can avail facilities of pre-natal sex detection like ultrasound, and take decisions accordingly. Money and education are not connected with female abuse," said Yvonne.

However, women who have had the courage to face violent marriages, think education inspired them to step away. "Women should be taught to take a stand. I think education can play a vital role in it," said model Alecia Raut, who split from her abusive Russian husband.

82 per cent
women in Delhi feel it is important for them to have careers and be independent. However, only 43 per cent say they have the freedom to choose their jobs.

30 per cent
Delhiites and 26% Mumbaikars agree it is better to give dowry as it makes life easier for a woman after marriage

She suffered in silence...
I married a Russian economist in 2004, in Moscow. Within two months of our marriage, problems started mushrooming. I was continuously beaten, confined and not even my closest relatives were allowed to meet me.

I wasn't allowed to talk to my parents in Mumbai.

But I stuck to my husband, thinking a child will help us bond. But that didn't happen. Even after my son Mark was born, the trauma continued. So I decided to call it quits. But my husband wasn't ready to grant me the custody of our son. Finally, after a legal battle the court granted me the permission and I returned to India.
Alecia Raut, model

According to the study, participants feel it's okay to beat a wife if she:
>>Neglects the house or children
>>Argues with husband
>>Goes out without husband's permission
>>Refuses to have sex
>>Does not cook food properly
>>Is unfaithful
>>Disrespects her in-laws