Cafe so-so

A new bistro in Versova is up against several immediate contenders, teetering with its average food and incongruent prices

Our story is not unlike that of the hundred other youngsters at the brink of adulthood who stream into Andheri, and particularly Versova every year. We have all spent a month or two in spare rooms and unoccupied corners in the living rooms of others till we found something affordable enough to call home. For us, it was one year, nine months and 10 days ago.

Lychee Shake

In this short time, on our daily commute to work or during midnight hunts for an ATM with hundred rupee notes, we have seen umpteen places open and shut down on JP Road, or what we refer to as Beach Road. So, when another café sprung up inconspicuously, we dropped in to see what it has to offer.

Protein overload sandwich

We walk into an empty Cafe Boho with our roommates on a Sunday night. Its outdoor seating area done up with plastic flowers puts us off because there's something morbid about artificial flowers. But maybe that's just us. The walls inside are painted a jolting yellow, except one that sports a giant elephant mural. "I feel like I am in Jorasanko," a friend jokes, pointing to the arched ceiling and the Kaali Ma frame hung in one corner for blessings. The aesthete is undeniably Bengali. We laugh and order a lychee shake (Rs 260), watermelon mojito (Rs 190), penne aglio olio (Rs 310), protein loaded sandwich (Rs 210) and tandoori chicken pizza (Rs 290).

Watermelon Mojito

The food arrives at random and in no particular order. The aglio olio is doused in oil, and covered in low-quality cheese. We hope to wash down the overused thyme, but the drinks still haven't arrived. The pizza, too, is a letdown, for it's more of a kiddy snack made with readymade pizza base and a load of veggies that don't quite go well together. The lychee shake and the watermelon mojito on the other hand are nice, but they are undone by the sandwich that is reminiscent of the kind of fast food available at pocket-friendly college canteens. We leave the café dissatisfied and could have perhaps let the amateur food slide had the pricing corroborated.

And as we walk back home, we think of the numerous places that didn't quite make it. Whether it was the Tanjore Tiffin Room replacing Treesome Café, Jukebox Retro Cafe coming up instead of K9, and most recently, the opening of The Dough Code where Ice Cream Works used to be. There are so many instances that we have lost track. And sometimes we wonder if it is not just because they have to survive in an area filled with impatient yuppies who are not easy to please and even harder to hold on to. You see, the average foodie today is becoming increasinlgy discerning.

You no longer need to be a connoisseur to differentiate between feta and goat's cheese, because frankly, it's all over Instagram. In an era where honest food is stylish, you cannot get away with lying to the customer. Like life, there are no short cuts to good food.

TIME: 12 pm to 12 am
AT: Beach Queen Apartments, Jeet Nagar, Versova.
CALL: 8104614854

Catch up on all the latest Mumbai news, crime news, current affairs, and also a complete guide on Mumbai from food to things to do and events across the city here. Also download the new mid-day Android and iOS apps to get latest updates

"Exciting news! Mid-day is now on WhatsApp Channels Subscribe today by clicking the link and stay updated with the latest news!" Click here!