I recently got engaged to a girl of my family's choice. I had met her about four times before the engagement
Dear Diana
Dear Diana,
I recently got engaged to a girl of my family's choice. I had met her about four times before the engagement. We otherwise spoke on the phone. Now that we are engaged, I have been asking her out. But to my utter shock, her father accompanies her everywhere. Wherever we go, he is there with us. I have told her that I do not like it one bit. I feel as if every move of mine is being watched. I have told her not to tell her parents every time we go out. However, she says as she is the only child, they have always been protective about her. She does not know how to tell her father not to hang around with us. What should I do? When I get married, will her parents then, too, tag along? I am dreading the situation and seriously thinking about calling off the engagement. The girl is nice and caring. We have been getting along well.
— Paritosh
Illustration/Uday Mohite
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Dear Paritosh,
I can only sympathise with you. Imagine having her father keeping a hawk's eye on you all the time. The only way out of this problem is to tell him. You need to clearly explain how you feel about the situation. It is okay if he is around, when it is a family situation, but otherwise it is a definite no. It is strange that he does not realise that he is being the kabab mein haddi. The girl is also to blame for the situation. She needs to tell her dad that it is time he stopped treating her like a baby. She is not a child and can take care of herself.