Should I approach my drama teacher?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 26-year old woman with a master's degree. I have never really been in a relationship, but had a little liking for my drama teacher, who must be around 40 or 45 years now, while studying theatre almost a decade ago. I never confessed my feelings to him but, whenever I think of finding a partner for myself, I think of him. I know he isn't married. How should I approach him? More importantly, should I approach him at all? I am scared. I understand that this sounds childish. Also, the fact that he works in the entertainment industry makes me a little hesitant. He was someone who would wear his heart on his sleeve. He is easy going and flirts with several women. What are the benchmarks or parameters one should keep in mind while looking for a life partner? I am anxious and confused. Please help me.
- Sneha

There is nothing wrong with having feelings for someone older, given that you are both adults. Having said that, you don't really know anything about this person except for his marital status. The last time you met him, you had distinct roles as teacher and student, which means you have never been able to evaluate him as an equal. If you feel like getting in touch with him, nothing stops you from reaching out and asking if he is interested in a cup of coffee. You are aware of his nature and are also a grown up capable of drawing your own boundaries when it comes to what you think is acceptable behaviour. If he crosses a line, you can and should call him out. If, on the other hand, he isn't interested in getting to know you, this won't be a problem for you any longer. Infatuation and genuine affection are different things, and the best way to separate the two is to spend time with the object of that infatuation. Ask him out and see what happens.

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