Is he blaming me for the break-up?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My ex-boyfriend and I ended our relationship on a very bad note because we had numerous fights and couldn't find a way of resolving them. It has been a year since that break-up, and I recently ran into him at a party where he ended up saying some horrible things to me. According to him, we ended our relationship because I don't like men and don't want to give them a chance. I was very upset when he said this because it put the blame on me and allowed him to forget the numerous occasions on which he had treated me badly. I have been thinking about his comments a lot and it plays on my mind whenever I am on a date with someone new, which makes me second guess myself. What if he is right? How do I convince myself that I am willing to give someone a chance?
Why second guess yourself if this means getting validation from someone who didn't respect you? You ended it because it was bad for you, which is all that should matter. If you continue to give his opinion importance despite his absence from your life, you continue to give him power over your emotions and how you feel. It's over and behind you, and that's where his perspective should lie too. If you treat every person as someone new, you're giving them a chance. To allow your past to colour your present or future is only a disservice to yourself.

There is a girl I have a crush on, and I know she likes me too. She isn't saying anything directly yet because I think she is trying to figure me out before telling me if she really wants to be with me. What can I do to convince her that I am great for her?
You can be honest, kind, respectful and polite, which is what everyone expects from a potential partner. You don't have to pretend to be someone or something you're not to impress her.

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