I just can’t deal with his family!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am thinking of breaking my engagement with my fiancé not because I don't love him anymore, but because I cannot deal with his family. They are very rude, always dismissive about me, and tolerate me only because I am marrying their eldest son. I don't think this is enough for me because he loves and cares for me a lot but is too afraid to confront anyone in his family and call them out for their actions. If he can't protect me before marriage, how will he be able to say anything when I start to meet them more often and they take my presence for granted? I will be heartbroken but can't think of a way out. What should I do?
You have the right to do whatever it takes to protect yourself physically as well as mentally. If a family member is being dismissive, that is not okay, and you should absolutely expect your fiancé to step in and resolve this. If he doesn't, he tacitly condones this behaviour, and you are inadvertently setting the stage for disappointment down the line. You can speak to his family if he refuses to, but it really isn't your battle to fight alone given that marriage is about partnership. Tell him how you feel and if he still refuses to call them out, getting away is definitely the right decision because it is the equivalent of dodging a bullet.

My boyfriend and I only manage to meet around once a month because we are both busy, successful professionals. Is this normal? I know we want to spend more time together but can't.
It is your prerogative as a couple to decide how much time you want to spend with each other, because there is no manual on that particular topic. If it works for you both, that's fine, provided you keep in mind that a relationship can evolve only when you get to know each other better. I suggest you adjust your individual priorities based on that logic.

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