This book explores an emotional and unconventional journey of parenthood

An illustration from The Perfect Match

When former journalist and author Preetha Sukhtankar brought her daughter Ayesha home in 2013, her happiness knew no bounds. Eleven years later, she is out with a book, The Perfect Match (Red Panda, R250), which beautifully illustrates a story that explores the deep, emotional journey of motherhood and adoption. The novel is told from the perspective of both a mother and her adopted daughter, capturing their struggles and ultimate, life-changing connection.

A mother, seasoned by life's many experiences, carries an unshakable emptiness within her - a void that only a daughter's love can fill. Elsewhere, a young girl in an orphanage watches others revel in the warmth of family, longing for someone who will be hers and hers alone. When their worlds finally coalesce, the connection is undeniable. Together, they find the love and belonging they had been searching for, completing each other in ways neither thought possible.

When Ayesha was younger, Sukhtankar was looking for books to read out to her. "There was just nothing available in the market. Some of the ones I read to her, like A Mother for Choco, about a little bird who lives alone and goes looking for his mother, had the wrong narrative. The other international ones' narrative didn't fit either. Everybody sugarcoats it and even uses animals; not through humans. So that was the other reason. So, I started to make up a story. Like what Sushmita Sen did with her adopted kids. She tells the story that they came from her heart. ‘The hole in my heart' was my inspiration to write this book, and I had this idea from when she was two," says Sukhtankar, who finally made it her COVID-19 lockdown project and got illustrator Poorvaroid to work on the book.

Preetha Sukhtankar and her daughter, Ayesha

"The one thing I was sure wouldn't be one of those sentimental sagas like Huckleberry Finn. It's hardly a Pulitzer Prize-winning book, and, recently, someone told me that it's hardly a book. I accept brickbats as well. But I do think that it is an important story to be told for other parents like me."

The royalties from the book will go to Bal Asha, the children's home from where Ayesha comes. Drawing comparisons in adoption procedures, Sukhtankar feels a lot has changed. A decade ago, you had to apply through different adoption agencies. Now it's centralised through CARA (Central Adoption Resource Authority). "CARA is tough. It takes a long time but with the right reason. It's so stringent and process-driven. People think that you can actually walk in and pick a child. It's nowhere close to that. There is so much trafficking," she says, adding, "It takes long, but it's much like trying right? You'll feel the emotional pain through the process like anybody else does through IVF and surrogacy, and when it's done - you forget about it,"

Sukhtankar always wanted to adopt. "Sounds harsh, but I've always believed that is the natural thing to do. It's everywhere, but in India especially, we have a big shroud around adoption. People still say hurtful things to me. I wish people knew what not to say to parents who have decided to take this journey. It's just a different process from, say, an IVF, surrogacy, etc."

Sukhtanka's first interview as a journalist was with a teenage Sushmita Sen, fresh from winning the Miss Universe title. "When she adopted her first child, it was a ground-breaking moment for adoption in India. It gave the process a sense of legitimacy. When successful individuals openly embrace the unconventional, it shifts perceptions," she reflects.

She has collaborated with Karan Johar and others throughout her career, showcasing diverse stories. "I didn't want to limit this narrative to adoptive parents alone. I wanted to highlight people who've embraced unconventional choices." She cites examples like Kiran Rao, whose openness about surrogacy inspired others, and trailblazers like Mandira Bedi, Sunny Leone, and Raveena Tandon, who normalised alternative paths to parenthood. "Each made a difference, showing people that if they can do it, so can we. By talking about adoption openly and thoughtfully, we can create a more inclusive, empathetic world where all families feel valued and respected."

She believes, "We are products of our parenting. And we talk about it a lot right now, especially with pop-psychology. Putting a child to bed with stories, especially in the first couple of years, is special for both. We must add stories about different families that need to be told. More books are being written on surrogacy or IVF parenting, single parenting, or gay parenting, and that's a good thing."

Next, she will explore the possibility of an audiobook about The Perfect Match.

Things not to say to adoptive parents

How lucky is she?
She is my child, not a charity case. Like any parent, I feel incredibly lucky to have her in my life. Children are not defined by how they join a family.

Didn't you want real children?
This is my real child.

I/we could never do that. You know, blood is blood…
And honestly, you shouldn't if that's your mindset. Comments like this imply that only biological connections are valid, dismissing the deep bond between adoptive parents and children.