There’s nothing unnatural about us

There has been a year-on-year rise in crimes against women, but the government believes this has more to do with better reporting than anything else. Representation Pic/istock

A woman on Twitter (because only its insecure owner calls it something else) recently urged other women across India to try their best to get out. This is no country for women, she stated, and a whole lot of people retweeted in agreement. The comment appeared a day after a man was acquitted of killing his wife by forcing her into an unnatural sexual act. There was outrage, of course, not because this was the first time unnatural sex was introduced to the public discourse, but because it was not treated as an offence and another criminal had managed to get away.

Lawyers helpfully jumped into the conversation to point out why the judge's hands were tied. Apparently, the woman who died was not below 15, they argued, which meant that the notion of consent had lost its importance. Also, given that husbands are supposedly allowed to indulge in unnatural sex with their wives, the accused couldn't be held responsible. The implication was that laws are sacrosanct, and there's nothing wrong with following them.

Let's put aside the question of divinity because, despite what lawyers may want us all to think about laws, the fact is they are made by men. As such, this makes them as sacrosanct as other imaginary ideas about borders between countries, standing up for an anthem, or saluting a flag. What surprised me wasn't the way they rushed to defend that judgement, but how women reacted as if this was the first instance of injustice they had come across in a long time.

It doesn't take female visitors more than a few minutes to figure out how unfair and unsafe India is. They sense it soon after they land, when the first man starts to stare at them at the airport, and it's all downhill from that point. As for Indian women, it's not as if they aren't aware that misogyny has long been justified as part of our tradition, so why the shock? Why would a country need to launch a PR campaign called ‘Beti Padhao, Beti Bachao' if the general feeling wasn't that women needed to be educated and protected from Indian men?

I'm pretty sure the problem lies in women's expectations. They have always known that they are not going to be treated with respect. They have been given millions of cues, but continue to be hopeful that things will change, and that they may someday be accorded some measure of respect. The smart thing would be for them to lower those expectations, or cancel them entirely, and accept that this is a place where men are to be respected, applauded, and protected at all costs. Once they internalise that message - and rural India always has, to its credit - they will feel no need to complain on Twitter or anywhere else.

It may sound harsh, and I apologise, but I am simply going by what the Indian judicial system has trained me to believe. You can be convicted of rape and still get parole 12 times in eight years. It's how Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh is probably on leave at his ashram, where he is presumably teaching his followers to be better human beings by doing the opposite of what he has done. You can rape a minor and then find your photograph on posters that exhort people to be more respectful towards their parents. It's how Asumal Sirumalani Harpalani looks down upon commuters from local trains, where he is referred to by his other name, Asaram Bapu.

There has been a year-on-year rise in crimes against women, but the government believes this has more to do with better reporting than anything else. It's also why horrific acts that would compel changes to the legal system in any developed country only lead to protests on the street for a couple of weeks in this one. Ask the women of West Bengal, who spent many months last year protesting against the rape and murder of a trainee doctor. The protesters were assaulted too, which says a lot.

We spend a lot of time explaining to the world that India is a spiritual place where women are always treated as goddesses and worshipped because that is our culture. Maybe it's time we stopped the charade. The world needs to know that this is a country where men can commit crimes against women with impunity. It's how the people we elect to power routinely insult women in Parliament and are still rewarded with second terms.

When he isn't ranting about all things Mumbai, Lindsay Pereira can be almost sweet. He tweets @lindsaypereira
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