Some verses

Illustration/Uday Mohite

So, it's that time of year, where I am inspired to write poetry and verse. Hope you enjoy them, dear reader, here goes:

Virat Kohli had a farm
Virat Kohli had a farm
E-I-E-I-O
And on that farm he ate some eggs
E-I-E-I-O
Here an egg
There an egg
Everywhere an egg egg
Virat Kohli had a farm
E-I-E-I-O
And on that farm he grew some veggies
V-E-G-G-I-E
With a bhaingan here
And a bhindi there
Here a bhaingan
There a bhindi
Everywhere a tasty tendli
Virat Kohli had a spat with the vegans
V-E-G-A-N
They claimed he was vegan
He said he was veggie
Netizens felt let down
LET D-O-W-N
Now he's on a plane to the UK
B-R-E-X-I-T

Well, it was Covid-19
(sung to the tune of I Saw Her Standing There)
Well, it was just Covid-19
and you know what I mean
And the way it struck was way beyond compare
We've never seen such a pandemic
And we're just standing here
Well, the virus chose me
And boy, I could see
That before too long
I'd fallen to its wiles
I've never felt like this ever
And I'm Covid positive
Well, my taste went boom
And my smell was doomed
As I held that oxymeter in my hand
Well, I burnt through the night
As I held my blanket tight
And before too long
Well I was well and truly ill
I took the Favriflu pill
And in 14 days flat
I'm fine, fine, fine, fine

Solve a problem like Osaka
(sung to the tune of ‘Solve a problem like Maria' from Sound of Music)
How do you solve a problem like Osaka's?
She's been an enigma from the start
A star at all the Slams
A power game and she's glam
Doesn't show what she's feeling
Now she's left
How do you solve a problem like Osaka's?
She an x factor that's for sure
But she's quite the actor
To go with the X factor
Gets to number one
But she's depressed
How do you solve a problem like Osaka's?
Where does she go from here
The fans want to know
She doesn't want to talk post the match
Will she be back with a bang and a boom
How do you solve a problem like Osaka?
Will she be the champ with the handicap?

My mask keeps falling on my chin
(Sung to the tune of ‘Raindrops keep falling on my head' and dedicated to BJ Thomas who wrote the song and expired last week)
My mask keeps falling on my chin,
And it's not just me who has this problem
No... it's not
no mask seems to fit
Coz all masks keep falling on my chin
they keep falling
Coz I'm Covid free
nothing's bothering me
My mask keeps falling on my chin
Because I'm Covid free
Nothing's worrying me

Baba black sheep
Baba Black sheep
Have you any Coronil
Yes sir, yes sir
Three bags to fill
One for the master
One for my disciples
And many for all those doctors administering, Covishield, Covaxin, Moderna and alopathic remedies.

Rahul da Cunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahul.dacunha@mid-day.com