Browsing through a cosmetic store the other day I stopped short of a stack of pepper spray and saw myself picking a can up for a closer look
Browsing through a cosmetic store the other day I stopped short of a stack of pepper spray and saw myself picking a can up for a closer look. Not one to be driven by much paranoia the thought of buying one did still cross my mind. And then came cascading the memory of a series of events, everyday situations and the most pertinent question: Am I safe in the city?
I had heard friends and family vouch for, even swear by how safe cities in the south of the country could be. It was in fact the last of my concerns when moving places and I couldn't care less about what roads I walked on at night and what I was wearing. How much harm could a casual yet sleazy glance really do to me I thought, or how harmful could a whistle or two really be?
One evening, a rather unpleasant happening while I was walking around the locality changed things for me, forever.
Every passing glance or comment, made me feel unsafe and threatened. Soon I began rethinking what I wore...
A sudden fear took over me and never completely left. Every passing glance or comment, made me feel unsafe and threatened. Soon I began rethinking what I wore, reconsidering the road I took on my way back home.
Sometimes I would drop the idea of stepping out altogether. I would wake up in the middle of the night to check on already locked doors and windows. A glance wasn't merely a glance to me anymore and compared to a derogatory remark or an action. A forced paranoia was nearly taking over me. I was perhaps safer and more guarded than any of my counterparts in another metropolitan like New Delhi, but that was hardly consolation on a daily basis. I knew I wouldn't perhaps be attacked while on the road but a casual western outfit would raise enough eyebrows.
Many incidents of being followed home and moving cities after I wondered how those assurances of safety held true and how was it that those around me defined safety. Clearly, these were incidents too small to be accounted for and the crime of more heinous nature (read rape and murder) was what was taken into account when establishing casually how safe a city is.
On more occasions than one I was rebuked about my attire and how that could in fact be the reason for my feeling unsafe and threatened. The proposed Slut Walk in the country here will silence those rebukes sufficiently, I hope. It was clear that unless something life threatening was involved, me and many others weren't going to be paid any heed to. Things, I hope, will change for the better and a greater fear will be instilled in anybody who attempts to throw as much as a glance. For now, I think I will go back and pick up a can of pepper spray.
