RSVP 'no' to social burnout this festive season

Physical fatigue or cognitive fog can be markers of rising pressure

The festive and wedding season is all about showing up, any place, any time and soaking in the fun and frolic. But let's be honest, it can also mean endless commitments and the pressure to look flawless where your daily routines go awry. Amidst these challenges, it's critical to avoid social burnout. We've got you covered, courtesy a mental health expert.

→ Festive fatigue 101
"The term refers to a state of mind where we feel physically and mentally exhausted due to prolonged and intense social interaction," explains counselling psychologist Bhaavika Vachani. Signs include emotional exhaustion, where individuals feel drained, irritated, or detached in social settings. Physical fatigue and feeling constantly tired, sluggish with headaches, or muscle tension can make mundane tasks feel daunting. Cognitive fog, including difficulty focusing or forgetting details, is another red flag. "Attending an event may evoke a sense of dread, heightened restlessness, social withdrawal and loss of enjoyment for some turning activities and interactions they once loved into unfulfilling obligations," she explains.

Bhaavika Vachani

→Understanding the whys
The phenomenon has many triggers. Vachani emphasises the importance of identifying them. The pressure of perfection is a key factor since these events demand adherence to unspoken social standards of appearance, behaviour, and interaction. "This can feel emotionally draining and overwhelming as it stretches one's emotional bandwidth; some might feel inadequate and engage in comparison with others," she explains. A packed calendar doesn't help - especially in a city like Mumbai, where commuting and constantly juggling commitments can create a chronic sense of hurry. Financial stress stemming from expenses like gift-giving or buying new clothes can make the joy of celebrations quickly feel like a bill you'd rather not pay.

→ Set boundaries
Healthy boundaries are essential for managing social burnout. "Time boundaries can involve politely declining or limiting time at social engagements. It can be as simple as saying, ‘I'd love to come, but I would like to leave by 9 pm. Avoid over-committing or double-booking yourself," says Vachani. Having emotional boundaries in place can help individuals check on themselves when their surroundings or people are draining them. It's important to step away at such times to think about it. Physical boundaries, such as choosing comfortable seating or stepping outside for fresh air, are crucial. "Overstimulation in certain social situations can be triggered by loud music, large crowds, and more. Conversational boundaries are also equally important. Be aware of your triggers and excuse yourself or change the topic of conversation when the need arises," she notes.

It is important to take time off to rejuvenate. Representation pics

→ Ditch the guilt
Feeling guilty about saying no? Vachani suggests a mindset shift to tackle this guilt. "Try to understand where the guilt is coming from; it often stems from perceived expectations or the fear of letting someone down. Try to reframe the situation and understand that declining an invitation isn't a rejection of that person. She says, "Instead of thinking, ‘I'm letting them down,' shift to, ‘I'm preserving my energy to show up better in future moments with them'." It's important to understand that an individual's absence doesn't diminish their value in relationships. Consistent and quality engagement matters more than
constant availability.

→ Balance the beam
Finding a balance between social obligations and personal well-being is crucial. Balance must be intentionally created to conserve energy and nurture meaningful social interactions. Start by prioritising events based on their importance and emotional connections. "Ask yourself simple questions such as, does this event align with my values or the relationships that matter to me? This helps set things into perspective," suggests Vachani.

Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO) often drives over-commitment, leading to burnout. To counter this, Vachani emphasises scheduling downtime for rest and maintaining aspects of your routine. "We don't plan for a post-social recharge enough, but it's essential for recovery and replenishing your emotional and mental reserve," she advises. Recharging doesn't need elaborate efforts like bubble baths - it can be as simple as taking a day to rest, detox, or even sticking to a routine.

Vachani suggests having a rest routine in place during stressful periods. "Rest days can include spending the day on a digital or physical detox, going for a walk, engaging in creative hobbies and more." Practices like deep breathing and mindfulness help centre individuals and recharge their social battery. Simple techniques - such as box breathing and the 54321 method - can be done in public to manage feeling overwhelmed (see box, below).

These tools can make an individual feel more in control and restore a sense of stability.

Anchoring oneself with positive affirmations can also be helpful. Practical self-care habits such as journaling, guided meditations, or structured calendars reduce mental clutter and support mindfulness.

Reach out to family and friends for support and to help ease the load

→ Be a burnout buddy
Family and friends can also support those facing social burnout by recognising signs, validating feelings, and offering practical help with tasks to ease their load. "Avoid pressuring them about plans or participation. Instead, offer reassurance with statements such as ‘Your presence matters more than your perfection, show up as who you are," she explains. If needed, encourage them to seek professional support for an effective recovery.

Try this out

"Box breathing can be done as per an individuals time preference where one inhales for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 4 and holds for 4 counts before repeating the process. The 54321 technique is another immediate solution: think and name 5 things you see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste."