I try my best to maintain good relations with her entire family, but it is getting harder. How do I nip this without hurting my wife’s feelings?
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I have been married for six months and everything is great with my marriage except for my mother-in-law, who makes all kinds of inappropriate comments when my wife is not around. She says things about my family, my beliefs, even how much money I earn, but is always sweet and polite when her daughter is in the room. My wife always thinks I am exaggerating. I try my best to maintain good relations with her entire family, but it is getting harder. How do I nip this without hurting my wife’s feelings?
You have to speak up, either with your mother-in-law, or your wife, or both of them together if this goes on. Turning the other cheek and being polite is one thing, but not addressing a blatant lack of respect only sends the wrong message and qualifies the trajectory of your relationship with anyone. If your wife isn’t taking this seriously, you should reiterate the comments made and point out that not treating them seriously invalidates your feelings, which isn’t okay. Also, do keep in mind that self-respect allows you to disengage from this sort of behaviour if you don’t want to deal with it. You are married to your wife alone, and don’t have to accept her family if they don’t extend that courtesy to you.
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It has been two days since I texted this girl and she hasn’t responded. I thought she liked me which is why I reached out and now I feel like a fool. Should I text her again or give her time? I don’t want to come across as desperate, but I really like her and think we can be good together. What should I do?
You should give her time and space and recognise that not responding is also a valid response for some people. You may think you’re great together, but she doesn’t have to agree with you.
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