Pati Patni aur Woh Follower

They are uninhibited, popular and married. Middle-class female creators are striking successful partnerships with their husbands to woo a following that’s male and sexist

Last week, 32-year-old Kavita Suryavanshi shared a screenshot of a comment on a Reel. It was in line with her usual content of lip-syncing to popular songs or filmy lines, decked in a saree and traditional Maharashtrian jewellery. The comment referred to her physique in a derogatory way, and when called out, the man resorted to profanity. Suryavanshi shared a screenshot and her 43,000-odd followers rallied around to report him.

Pratiksha and Vishal Bankar post both, individually, and as husband and wife. The fact that she is with her husband in her Reels does not discourage trolls from commenting on her clothes. Pics/Instagram

For thousands of women creators on Instagram, this is a daily battle between staying true to their content and not letting vile comments into their head. But for some like Suryavanshi, the battle is to be fought on two fronts—home and social media—because they are married.

With every profile mid-day examined or interacted with, over a period of three weeks, we found some traits in common. The first was that regardless of their outfit, the creator’s mangalsutra and sindoor were loudly on display—longer than most, worn prominently over other jewellery, and the sindoor darker. This is not just to ward off creeps (not that it works).

Amidst instances of marital discord because of the female half being a successful or rising Instagram Reels creator, couples like Kavita Suryavanshi and her husband Gaurav Vasani set the right example. Suryavanshi began her social media journey after she got married, and her beau is her cameraman most of the time. Pic/Nimesh Dave

“I usually ignore comments,” Suryavanshi tells us when we meet her at her Borivli residence. “There’s no point in trying to talk sense to a mob.” Her husband, realtor and travel agent Gaurav Vasani, agrees. “That’s what I tell her too,” says the 41-year-old real estate and travel agent. Theirs is a love marriage; they married 10 years ago and have a nine-year-old daughter. We ask how Vasani feels about her Instagram presence as mother and wife. She laughs; she started her journey after she married Vasani.

“I always wanted to be an actor, but my parents were orthodox and I could never explore this side of my personality. By the time I got married, TikTok was the rage and I told him that I wanted to get on it. He agreed without argument.” 

Once considered a pastime for homemakers, TikTok, and Instagram after the former was banned, has become one of the most popular platforms for self-expression and a source of income for thousands of women in India. Their content spans make-up tutorials, dancing, lip-syncing, video-blogging about marriage or motherhood, cooking, or simply eating on camera. The male gaze takes care of the rest.

Vijayalakshmi Vikram posts her making earthy vegan recipes and eating them on her Instagram page. Her husband, Vikram, doubles as proof reader, assistant and her all-time number one cheerleader

“There’s always hope,” says a senior police officer who has investigated scores of cases of online harassment, many of them aimed at female Reels creators, through comments or Direct Messages (DMs). “Men see a woman on Instagram thanks to the algorithm, start following her and more often than not, graduate from admiring comments to creepy DMs. Whenever we receive a formal complaint and arrest an offender, their defence is always the same—he expects the woman to reciprocate the love he has shown through engagement with her Reels. The fact that she was married, and open about it, has never mattered.”

A month ago, the Bihar police arrested a woman for allegedly murdering her husband after he stopped her from making Reels. Enraged at the obstacle in her road to fame and income, she sought her relatives’ help to allegedly kill him in Begusarai district. The creators we spoke to said priority is to ensure that their relationship with their spouse remains healthy, without having to give up their choices.

Vasani, who has seen Suryavanshi’s followers and engagement grow over the last four years, says that he is an active participant in her online journey. “I record her videos,” says Vasani, “watch our daughter when she’s busy with content creator duties and suggest Reel ideas. She also discusses her ideas with me. This transparency and constant communication effectively ensure that there is no room for misunderstanding.”

Hiba Hasan’s account is all about make-up. She acknowledges that trolls have targeted her appearance as well as her marriage 

As for the off-colour comments, he ignores them. He is just happy that she is finally getting to realise her dream. “If there is a woman behind every successful man, there is no reason why the reverse should not be true,” he says simply. But, he laughs when we ask if he will agree to feature in a Reel. “I’m happy behind the camera.”

It’s the opposite for Pratiksha and Vishal Bankar from Chandwad taluka of Nashik. Both are celebrities in their own right, with ‘Official’ in their handles. Vishal has 20.7k followers; Pratiksha’s has 1.6 million. The couple posts individually, as well as together as a pair in love. Pratiksha dances or lip-syncs to the latest hits with Vishal. While she has an individual online identity, Vishal’s timeline is filled with their videos as spouses going about their day in the kitchen, the living room and celebrating festivals.

Their interaction with followers is also carefully considered and conducted. Positive comments stand a higher chance of receiving a response, even a heart emoji or a simple thank you. A string of hearts, love-struck eyes and some more risqué emojis are ignored. Then there are comments on Pratiksha’s clothes or the couple’s shenanigans.

Mom blogger Rachita Paliwal admits that her constant online presence has led to some disagreements with her husband, which they have always sorted out by spending quality time together

“Didn’t get time to stitch the entire blouse, did you?” comments a woman on a joint Reel. Another woman responds with a laugh emoji. A discourse on modesty follows in the cascading comments. Pratiksha and Vishal post another Reel.

“Of course, gender dynamics play a strong role when married women or couples are involved,” says Danish Malik, founder and CEO, Boomlet, an influencer marketing firm. “I remember a podcast where a government servant with a significant social media following had said that his wife was ‘supportive of his journey’. When asked whether he would do the same, he said a flat no. It also depends on the content, but it is a fact that 80 per cent of female content creators have non-creator husbands, and there is a fair amount of insecurity there. We have numerous instances where the female creators have disabled comments on posts because they don’t want their husbands to be upset.”

Malik lets us in on an industry secret. “Nowadays, it’s a competition. The more vile the comments, the more successful some creators consider themselves. Some think they are doing something wrong if they don’t receive hate!”

Karan Pherwani and Ayush Guha

The story is the same across genres. Hiba Hasan’s feed is mainly about make-up tips, but that does not stop trolls from getting personal. “Yes, yes and yes,” she says when we ask if she’s been harassed online, if it was aimed at her gender and if it targeted her marriage. “I wasn’t very good at handling the hate initially. It affected my self-esteem; I questioned my choices: Am I cut out for content creation? Will this affect my relationship? Many people even questioned my ability to be a good wife.”

But what got her through was realising that people’s perception of her online is based on the very little information they have about her. And her husband, Arshia Bakhtiari’s, support helped. “The only concern I have is about the stress that comes from the commitment to deliver to so many followers,” he says. “Viewers only see the finished product but there is an entire lifestyle that must be maintained behind the scenes so that she is in a creative headspace and can work consistently.” Hate takes many forms: For those whose content is based on appearance or physicality, its vile comments about how they look; Lifestyle creators are attacked for life choices.

Vijayalakshmi Vikram is a passionate vegan who posts recipes and preaches kindness to animals to her 520k followers. “Something as simple as saying, don’t use milk in festive sweets, is enough to trigger haters,” she says. “It took me a while to take it all in. Earlier, I would vent in front of my family; now I keep sight of my purpose: To create awareness and make the world a kinder place for animals. Of course, [husband] Vikram is always by my side, be it to proofread content, help choose the right equipment or taste recipes before I post them.” Vikram admits that the comments worry him. “But that’s precisely why my support is important. It is imperative that I don’t say, ‘You got these comments because you made such a post’.” 

With dedication comes recognition. Influencer marketing, a term unheard of a decade ago, is now a thriving ecosystem. Boomlet’s 2023 report states that the fast-moving consumer goods sector was the top industry associated with Influencer Marketing last year, followed by banking, financial services and insurance, and automobiles in the next two slots, with entertainment, gaming, tech, food, and beauty tagging after. These collaborations are made based on the follower count of the creator. Those with more than five lakh followers are classified as Large Base, those with two lakh to five lakh followers are Medium Base and those with 50,000 to two lakh are Small Base. These are no longer creators, they are influencers—those with the power to influence the decision of their followers to buy a product.

Meta, too, incentivises creators. As of today, non-US based creators can add a button that allows followers to send ‘gifts’ in the form of money for each post, as soon as they cross 1,000 followers. This is completely voluntary. The legal system, too, has woken up to the rise of influencer marketing in India. Influencers are legally bound to declare—in the form of a Paid Promotion tag on their content—if their Reel has a commercial purpose.

ShareChat and Group M, in their Bharat: The Neo India report 2023, say that the number of consumers who prefer Indic language content has grown exponentially, especially in the last five years, much like the number of women creators. These consumers are now referred to as ‘Bharat’. The report throws up interesting tidbits: “Bharat shows high propensity to pay for online content with 27 per cent using paid video streaming daily”; “Bharat is shopping online with 46 per cent buying gadgets online in 2021. Other categories like travel bookings, food, clothing and accessories, beauty and skincare are also popular”; And “Bharat is increasingly adopting modern payment methods with 56 per cent using UPI and 49 per cent using mobile wallets multiple times a week”. All this should naturally add to the growing popularity of creators such as Vijayalakshmi.

Talent managers say democratisation of content has created a level-playing field. Viraj Sheth, CEO of Monk-E Entertainment, told us last year that this is due to platforms such as Instagram, and the fact that India has the lowest data rate in the world—it is easy for regional creators to join the party. “We have seen a definite a rise in creators from tier-2 cities like @bihariladka, who comes from a small town in the state and has 1.6 million followers. Unfortunately, most of these creators don’t have the right guidance and are led astray by agencies.” For example, Sheth had told us that a creator with a million followers could get paid around R1 lakh a reel. “But most agencies may say, we can only pay Rs 50,000, and they will accept it because it’s a lot of money to them.” 

Ayush Guha, Head-Development and Strategy at influencer management company Hypp, also had earlier told us that tier-2 creators’ work resonates quickly with an audience because they are “fresh”. “They also have a unique take on how to align with the world and still retain their own voice.” 

“Typically, in terms of brand categories, it’s beauty, fashion and lifestyle brands that invest in micro or emerging creators when they start getting noticed,” says Karan Pherwani, Vice President, Chtrbox Media. “The brands investing in female Reels creators are influenced by the demographics of their audience. Those focusing on lifestyle, beauty, and fashion tend to attract brands from only those respective categories. On the other hand, entertainment-focused creators may draw interest from brands spanning various sectors such as FMCG, finance, F&B, gaming etc, since entertainment creators are 
fairly versatile.”

Especially for those just starting out, agencies such as Chtrbox and individual managers help guide and support creators. “They would help a female creator, for instance, understand her goals, which involves conversations to determine whether that means building a large following, establishing herself as expert in a niche, or leveraging influence for business opportunities,” Pherwani tells us. “Once the goals are established, they work with her to analyse the content niche, audience demographics, and engagement metrics to develop a tailored plan for growth and impact. They ensure that collaborations are mutually beneficial, balancing financial compensation with the creator’s creative autonomy and brand alignment.”

Success has to be earned, and couples can grapple with not just insecurity but also the inability to give each other time. “I won’t deny that we have had disagreements,” says Rachita Paliwal, whose journey as a mom blogger has earned her close to 900 brand collaborations till date. Her Instagram is full of the simplest of things, such as the vegetables she shopped this morning, or her day with her children. 

“Since I have no fixed working hours, I have to stay online a lot, which can create problems. But we talk it out and then I make sure we spend quality time together,” says the Mumbai-based creator. The journey is slow, but it is, as scores of successful influencers have proven, also steady. Suryavanshi already has endorsements for a saree label and a jewellery brand, will soon be shooting for a song, and is in talks with a production house for a possible role in a web series. “Just take the first step,” she says. “You will regret it more if you never try.”

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