In a surprising turn of events, Britney Spears took to her Instagram to announce she has ‘married’ herself. This comes nearly an year after she parted ways with Sam Asghari. Posting a video of herself in a white wedding dress and an embellished veil, she wrote, “The day I married myself… Bringing it back because it might seem embarrassing or stupid, but I think it’s the most brilliant thing I’ve ever done!!!” Other posts Before this announcement, she also posted a picture of an empty church with no caption. View this post on Instagram A post shared by XILA MARIA RIVER RED (@britneyspears) The video in question was followed by another video where she can be seen lounging by a pool in a yellow bikini. Interestingly, a scroll through her feed reveals another post dated October 12 where she can be seen wearing the same white gown. “A month after I got married on this day, I married myself!!! Things that make you go HMMMMMM…," she captioned the picture. View this post on Instagram A post shared by XILA MARIA RIVER RED (@britneyspears) Spears opted for wavy hair paired with her signature black eyeliner look. She wore classic black pumps with the wedding dress. The 42-year-old pop star married Asghari in June 2022 and they parted ways after 14 months of marriage. Their split was finalised in May 2024 according to media reports.
22 October,2024 10:18 AM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondent
In June, a 20-year-old woman was brutally murdered in Vasai East by a man in broad daylight. The man used a pipe wrench to hit her on the head and chest before throwing it on the road, after which he sat down near the body. The incident shocked everybody around them. According to reports, the brutal killing was due to problems in their six-year-long relationship, and the belief that she was cheating on him. Later, it also came to light that her parents hadn’t approved of the man and had told her to end their relationship. The subsequent actions highlight how he didn’t take the rejection well. Why it was hard for him to not accept the rejection is an aspect we may never know. However, it highlights the effect of people in romantic relationships not handling rejections properly and the effect it has on their mental health. Every year, World Mental Health Day is observed on October 10 to raise awareness, educate and advocate more about the social stigma. Over the years, there has been a growing focus on mental health in personal and professional life but the one aspect that is often lost is how people are affected when a relationship goes sour or face rejection. Like in the case of the Vasai couple, it leads them to take many different kinds of drastic actions that include murder too. The National Crime Records Bureau’s (NCRB) 2023 report highlighted that there were 4,45,256 cases of crimes against women reported in 2022 showing a rise of 4 per cent from 2021. With a growing number of crimes against women in romantic relationships, mid-day.com spoke to psychologist and psychotherapist and relationship expert Swapnil Pange to know why it is hard to handle rejections in romantic relationships. Along with Pange, Dr Sonal Anand, psychiatrist at Wockhardt Hospitals in Mira Road and Narendra Kinger, clinical psychologist and psychotherapist at Holy Family Hospital in Bandra also share how people can deal with rejections, and work on their mental health. The experts also highlight how people who have rejected the other person can recognise triggering signs of violence, and why there is a need to report it. How does one approach rejections in a relationship? Pange: Rejections in romantic relationships are hard. Rejection in a relationship can be a painful experience, but it's important to understand that it's a common occurrence. Rejections in a relationship simply mean that your partner has not rejected you, but they chose someone else over you. It has nothing to do with you being ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Don’t take it personally. We obviously feel sad, and disappointed as we invested in the relationship, and we expect returns. So, don’t label yourself as lucky or unlucky as your relationship is broken. Maybe be two of you just couldn’t get well along with each other. Anand: Rejection from someone who you love and want to get in a relationship can be a hard pill to swallow. One may feel embarrassed, frustrated, agitated, restless, and irritated. However, you being rejected should not burden the other person with unnecessary guilt. You should calmly respect their decision and stop bombarding them with multiple questions related to the rejection. Kinger: While rejections in a relationship are painful, it also gives one an opportunity for growth or improvement. We can overcome rejection by letting go of our emotions attached to the relationship, by practicing self-care, and reframing our thinking to "that rejections are opportunities to get better and focus on rebuilding self-esteem and reach out to loved ones, therapy, or support groups for such trying times. The development of emotional intelligence holds great importance in dealing with rejection. Manage your emotions, develop empathy, and maintain effective communication. Long-term growth will arise from establishing resilience, learning new strategies, and recovering one's self-esteem. One can also opt for professional assistance in handling emotions and enhancing emotional strength. Also Read: Gen Z redefines romance: What is simmer dating? Are there early signs that one can pay attention to help them prepare better for it? Pange: There are some red flags of rejection that you may pay attention to avoid stress further:1. Partner avoids you frequently and prefers spending time with someone else2. Frequently ignoring your needs and desires and instead giving importance to someone else’s3. After fights, you are the ones who always take the lead to initiate communication, and it seems that they can go for days without talking to you Anand: Various signs can help you understand that someone is not interested in you or doesn’t want to form a romantic relationship with you. If the other person starts to avoid you, may seem distant, or doesn’t like it when they are paired with you can be the warning signs of a potential rejection in the future. Why is it hard for so many people to handle rejections in romantic relationships? Pange: People who have an anxious attachment style find it difficult to handle rejection because they are dependent too much on their romantic partners. They cannot imagine their life without their partners. They have extreme fear of abandonment causing constant insecurity and anticipated anxiety in a relationship. When the relationship ends, such people with an anxious attachment may experience intense emotional experiences including feelings of worthlessness, anger and sadness. Anand: Rejection in a romantic relationship can be overwhelming as you start to invest a lot in this relationship emotionally. You may have certain dreams or expectations from this relationship and seeing them being shattered can feel like a personal loss. One may start to compare themselves with other happy couples in their surroundings which can worsen their pain of rejection. Kinger: Rejection triggers the basic fears of abandonment, shame, and inadequacy that are prevalent in all human beings to some extent. Our attachment styles and past experiences of relationships can exacerbate our vulnerability. Societal pressures and idealizing romantic notions, ideals, or fantasies often create impossible expectations from our relationship. Processes in the brain for rejection are akin to actual physical pain; inducing the release of stress hormones and putting the person in a fight-or-flight response. What are the reasons that people can face rejection in a relationship? Pange: There could be incompatibility issues such as a mismatch of beliefs and values, life goals, communication styles and mainly personality incompatibility. Some other factors could be past trauma of the person, trust issues and physical compatibility issues as well. Anand: Multiple factors can lead to rejection in a romantic relationship. The way you behave, and your attitude towards them can influence the status of your relationship. If you are unable to understand the feelings of your partner or easily get aggressive and rude when angry can be the potential reason for a rejection. How can couples approach challenges in their relationships? Pange: Encouraging open and honest communication, willing to compromise on personal desires for the sake of relationships, seeking therapy for resolving issues from professional therapists. Anand: If you are experiencing various hardships and challenges in your relationships, then acknowledging the real problem can be helpful. Couples should also express their genuine feelings, opinions, and disappointments about their relationships. This can help resolve the problem. How is handling rejection in a long-term relationship different from those who are pursuing somebody to get into a relationship with them?Pange: In a long-term relationship, the emotional investment is much deeper as compared to the other one. Hence, there is intense emotional experience causing significant distress after breaking up making it difficult for a person to move on. Also, in a long-term relationship, the presence of commitment, shared goals, memories and aspirations makes it difficult to move on after breaking up. Handling rejection in a long-term relationship is also much harder and is an intense emotional experience because it damages the self-esteem of the person involved. Anand: Experiencing rejection from a long-term relationship is completely different for those pursuing someone to be in a romantic relationship with them. It’s the amount of time spent that makes the huge difference. Getting rejected by someone with who you have spent major years of your life can be disheartening as you are mentally and physically connected with them. It may become difficult to get back to your normal routine as a single by being in a relationship for longer. Over the last year, we have seen many people take extreme actions like murder after being rejected. What leads to these extreme actions? Pange: The main reason is underlying mental health-related concerns such as depression, substance abuse, and personality disorders, which need clinical interventions and counselling. People who have low frustration tolerance, who can’t take no, are impulsive, and vulnerable are likely to engage in violent actions like murder, after being rejected. Some of these could be having borderline personality, narcissistic personality and or antisocial personality disorder. Sometimes, people follow what they follow on social media, news, movies and television and end up harming their loved ones. Anand: Everyone has their way of coping with rejection from their favourite person. Some may try to move on while some may try to hold personal grudges in their mind. Extreme actions like hurting them physically can be an indication of their aggressive behaviours and unstable mental health. Kinger: Extreme reaction to rejection often manifests in the form of physical violence or causing harm to a partner, often due to untreated issues involving mental health problems, extreme possessiveness, or past baggage and trauma. Entitlement, shame, or desperation can all make the behavior destructive. One must be able to spot warning signs - as much and as soon as possible. Extreme emotional dysregulation or aggressive behaviour needs to be picked up by one's partner. Safety should be the first concern, and family and friends should support those affected by rejection-related violence. Achieving this would entail handling the deeper issues and assistance from professionals to avoid a full-blown outbreak. For crisis support, there are community resources, hotlines, and emergency services you can get help from. Also Read: Expert tips to keep your mental and physical health on track post festive season For people who have rejected the other person, how can they be prepared for any extreme reactions? Pange: Here are some steps to keep in mind:1. Communicate rejection, assertively, and precisely. Don’t give mixed signals or ambiguous signals. 2. Anticipate a negative response from the rejected person3. Establish boundaries 4. Reduce contact or no contact at any cost5. Inform your family members6. If required seek legal help and psychological counselling. Anand: It takes courage to express your disapproval of a romantic relationship knowing that it may hurt someone else’s feelings. Ensure that you express your thoughts clearly and calmly without creating any type of misunderstanding. If you feel that the other person may feel attacked or react negatively then try distancing yourself from them to ensure your safety. Kinger: Working through rejection requires one to have a high level of empathy, compassion, and preparation in terms of knowing how to 'end the relationship in a manner that is sensitive to both the givers and the takers. Rejection often breeds an intense emotional reaction, including feelings of abandonment, shame, and inadequacy which can play into extreme reactions such as emotional dysregulation, aggressive behaviour, or thoughts of suicidal ideation. Such risks may be avoided by careful consideration of the timing and location for discussion: find some private quiet place with no distractions, where emotions can be tackled; clearly communicate your decision, without blame or accusation, demonstrate empathy, and compassion through feeling and acknowledging. Do men take rejection worse than women or does rejection have no gender? Pange: Traditional perspective on gender roles portrays men to be strong, dominant, and in control. Rejection in relationships can be a big blow to this perception of men causing intense reactions by them. Women are likely to perceive the rejection as a personal failure or worthlessness. While women are more likely to seek professional help or support post-break-up in a relationship, men may engage themselves in various activities as a means of distraction to cope with the loss. Abuse of substances or addictive behaviours can be common across all genders. Anand: It is a common myth that men are unable to take rejection compared to women. Gender plays no role in the way an individual reacts towards rejection. What makes the difference is their personality and behavioural pattern. If they are calm and sorted, then they might understand your condition but if the other person is short-tempered then it may lead to some extreme reactions. Kinger: Research has suggested that even though a male and a female do suffer rejection equally in emotional terms, the perception of pain and distress, and the way they express it may be influenced by social expectations or gender role orientation. A man may refuse to accept his feelings or hit out at others in a variety of aggressive ways. A woman is likely to brood over her feelings, as science has found out that brooding and obsessive thinking are injurious tendencies. Individual differences are therefore greater than any particular gender. Recognise that rejection pains everyone differently, regardless of gender. What are some of the tips and steps that people can take to handle rejection and prevent their mental health?Pange: Follow these tips to handle rejection better in your romantic relationships: 1. It’s okay if someone rejects you. They have all the right to do so. You have the choice to accept the rejection gracefully.2. Express your feelings or share with your close ones3. Take care of your mental health and seek support4. Give time yourself to grieve the loss of a relationship and don’t jump onto any other relationship too quickly. Anand: People often tend to neglect their feelings and try to act cool. This can take a negative toll on their mental health leading to depression, anxiety, and stress. Allow yourself to feel a range of emotions associated with rejection like sadness, frustration, or anger. But remember that your grief should not be a burden for the other person. Try to divert your mind by indulging in activities that help you stay calm and happy like doodling, cooking, traveling, or going for an evening walk. Disclaimer: This information does not replace professional medical advice. Consult a qualified mental health expert for personalised guidance.
16 October,2024 06:39 PM IST | Mumbai | Nascimento PintoThe festive season is here and people are preparing to celebrate wholeheartedly. From cleaning the house to shopping for outfits and household items, from hosting gatherings to cooking unique dishes, this time of the year not only brings festivities but also responsibilities. Traditionally, women were entrusted with most of the responsibilities for festive planning. However, a new survey by dating app Bumble reveals that 9 in 10 (91 per cent) Indians believe equal contributions from their partners in festive season planning is essential. This reflects a modern perspective on romance, which is grounded in collaboration, and shared roles and responsibilities. The survey was conducted in September 2024, and included a sample of 2004 people in India aged 18-43. A notable 45 per cent of women feel they shoulder most of the responsibility for organising couple activities during the festive season. However, this sentiment is evolving, with more individuals embracing the idea of shared responsibilities, where both partners have an equal seat at the table. 51 per cent of people are excited about the prospect of both partners equally contributing to festive season activities, viewing it as a great way to bond. As the focus transitions from traditional roles to a more balanced partnership, the festive mantra is clear: planning together not only enhances the celebrations, but also strengthens the relationship. Ruchi Ruuh, Bumble’s India Relationship Expert, shares some fun and easy dating tips for new couples to make the most of the festive season, together. 1. Festive market treasure hunts: Looking for a fun way to tackle your festive shopping? With the majority of Indians agreeing that it’s important to share responsibilities during the festive season, why not turn it into a playful scavenger hunt? Head to your local market with a list, give each other a budget and see who can find the quirkiest decorations or sweets. It’s a great way to explore the market together while ticking things off your to-do list. 2. Your own festive traditions: Why not make this festive season uniquely yours? This is the perfect time to put your heads together and blend family customs or even create your own traditions. Light diyas in unexpected spots or get creative with some fusion mithai. It’s all about celebrating together while building new memories you’ll cherish. 3. Festive date night at home: With 56 per cent of Indians preferring to stay close to home during the festive season according to the survey, a cozy night in might be just what you need. Dress up, deck out your space with festive touches and cook a special meal together. Top off the night with a classic Bollywood film on the projector, snuggled up with your favorite treats. It’s the perfect way to celebrate without the hustle and bustle. 4. Festive photoshoot: If you’re determined to be a homebody this season, why not capture the festive fun with a little photoshoot at home? Dress up in your festive best and snap some pics. It’s a great way to make memories together. Also Read: 38 pct Gen Z Mumbaikars choose festivals to introduce dates to their friends
15 October,2024 02:18 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondentAhead of World Tourism Day, Tinder has introduced the new Solo Traveler’s Guide to Tinder PassportTM, which is tailored to support Gen Z globetrotters in embracing the rising trend of solo traveling and building connections across the globe. Travel is the number 1 interest on Tinder amongst young adults globally between the ages of 18 and 25, and a recent Tinder survey reveals that 50 per cent of Gen Z in India agree having a shared interest in travel makes their match more attractive. On Tinder India profiles, this shows up as a 17 times increase in users mentioning ‘solo travel’ in their bios like 'Love to explore new places', 'solo traveling', 'cat mom', and 'Living the mountain life', 'A solo traveler by heart', 'wandering in search of home', and 'all the way from beach to mountains'. As more young people, especially Gen Z and millennials, choose to embark on their own independent adventures, the guide includes useful advice from Tinder and Hosteller, Indian self-operated backpacker hostel chain, to travel smart and safe, and make global connections before and after users land. With 78 per cent of young singles in Asia Pacific expressing interest in making friends before they travel to their holiday spots, it is clear that the desire to create new bonds is becoming a key part of their globetrotting experiences. In 2024, Bangkok, Tokyo, London, Seoul, and Delhi were the top 5 cities for young singles to PassportTM to on the app. “Traveling offers a wonderful opportunity to make new connections, and with Gen Z increasingly embracing solo travel, Tinder is here to help them kickstart their adventures. A Solo Traveler’s Guide to Tinder PassportTM offers essential tips for exploring new places, making connections, and navigating new environments with ease. There are endless possibilities with Tinder PassportTM — whether you’re looking to meet someone new, get authentic local tips, or simply immerse yourself in a different culture,” said Papri Dev, VP APAC Communications, Tinder. Tinder has now updated PassportTM Mode to appear directly on a user’s profile, letting others know that they are looking to make friends and connections before they even set foot in your destination. Papri Dev shares, “Using PassportTM Mode ahead of a trip is the best way to take full advantage of it — whether you’re seeking insider tips from locals or lining up exciting plans with fellow travelers, you can start building connections and setting the stage for an unforgettable adventure before you even board your flight.” Pranav Dangi, founder & CEO, The Hosteller, says, “Solo travel is surging, driven by Gen Z and millennials seeking self-discovery and freedom. At The Hosteller, we've seen a boom in adventurers craving authentic, safe, budget-friendly experiences. Our hostels foster meaningful connections with new cultures, empowering individuals to build lifelong memories. We believe solo travel isn't just a trend, it's a transformative journey of personal growth."
27 September,2024 11:40 AM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondent
Mumbai-based writer Saanjh* has tried using almost every dating app, hoping to find a good person. However, she has had to face several unpleasant experiences, that compromised her physical and emotional safety. “I have tried my luck using almost all dating platforms that are currently available including small-time apps, which at times has put me in a precarious situation,” she states. She shares an experience: "I was briefly working in Bengaluru when I had matched with a guy on Bumble and I invited them over. They tried to get physically intimate when I had not consented to it. I was already not in a good state mentally. I called a friend in tears and she consoled me for a bit until I slept. The next day, she showed up with another friend with food, and spent the whole day with me while we worked together to help me settle.” “I had another experience as a student where a person I'd matched on Tinder insisted that I meet him at the beach at night time. I did not go on the date and unmatched with him but he found my Facebook profile with just my first name and began messaging me there. I blocked him,” she further reveals. A similar situation was faced by Delhi-based management professional Tanya*, which prompted her to stop using dating apps altogether. She states, “I had matched with someone but didn’t wish to continue talking, so I unmatched. However, he began texting me on social media and I was terrified. I blocked him and also uninstalled the dating app, and haven’t used it since. The whole experience was very scary.” The same platforms that are considered liberating and credited for democratising relationships are now in the limelight for all the wrong reasons. Unsafe incidents such as these not only compromise physical safety but also affect users mentally. “Both these incidents left me shaken. It took time to recover,” shares Saanjh. However, the experience did not deter her from using dating apps. “The way I deal with people has changed due to these experiences. If I don't feel comfortable or catch the ick by something they said or their behaviour, I stop talking to them,” she states. Nirali Bhatia, cyber psychologist, psychotherapist and founder of Cyber B.A.A.P. (an anti-cyberbullying organisation), has seen instances of dating app users being harassed or scammed through these apps. “One major issue is that of fake profiles,” she reveals. “Guys believe it to be a girl's profile, but then they realise it was a boy chatting from a girl's profile. I've also come across girls who intentionally swiped another girl's profile because that’s what they wanted, and then realised it was a boy. In one case, the boy started extorting the girl,” she states. Sharing other instances, she says, “There have been cases where guys have been conned. On video calls, they are recorded and sextorted.” There have been various cases of scams through fake profiles and sextortion in current times. A recent Mid-day sting operation revealed a dating app scam, which involved women with fake profiles taking men to expensive clubs, and club managers and owners extorting exorbitant money from these victims. Also Read: Dating app scam busted in Mumbai: Floodgates open Apart from this, dating apps can pose other safety risks as well. “Initiating conversation with someone on dating apps has also led to stalking. Over the last few years, it has been observed that people immediately move out of the conversation from dating apps to different sites. After a couple of messages, they even exchange their numbers. Then, most of the conversation is either on WhatsApp or even Instagram. Somehow, many youngsters today believe that Instagram is safer than WhatsApp. Then there is a barrage of unpleasant, unwarranted, constant messages,” she adds. Revealing a specific instance, she states, “I've worked on a case where a guy met someone from a dating app when he was travelling to another city. They met a couple of times. Because he was not from that city, he only went there for work. But the girl got very obsessive and it led to psychotic behavior. She threatened to cut herself. So, the trauma was massive.” On whom does the onus of safety lie? While dating apps are often criticised for failing to put appropriate safety measures in place, does the onus lie entirely on them? Saanjh doesn’t think so. “We are responsible for our safety. But the dating apps should also take accountability. I am not sure if they can run a criminal background check but they should. An incident happened with a friend who learned that the man she had been seeing was a conman and a case was filed against him,” she states. “But then again, it's a catch-22 situation because even if they do verify things, some users may not explicitly display signs of being creepy or unsafe. I'd say, when it comes to offline behaviour, the responsibility of safety is on us and while things are on their platforms, the responsibility of safety is on them,” she adds. However, she clarifies that there’s no ideal solution to this issue. “There can only be perspectives,” she concludes. Bhatia also believes that safety is a collective responsibility. She states, “The dating apps should make sure that their platform does due diligence. They should ensure that they have genuine profiles. It’s important for them to not be driven only by business as a motive, but also by safety. Also, they should have easy remedial measures and create awareness amongst their users.” “Safety is also our responsibility. You can't go with your eyes shut. You have to be alert. You have to be smart enough. Going slow is your biggest advantage. Don't just jump to it. Make sure that you are always in control and aware of what's happening. The basic rule is to share your location with trusted people and tell them where you're going if you're meeting strangers. Always meet in public places. We can't completely put our hands up and rely on others,” she adds. Also Read: Do women feel safe at bars in Mumbai? What are dating apps doing to ensure safety? Many believe that dating platforms do not consider the safety of users as their objective. However, almost every dating app claims otherwise. Tinder, one of the leading online dating platforms in the country, elaborates. Dr. Chandni, life coach and relationship expert partner with Tinder in India, states, “Safety is super important in online dating, and Tinder is stepping up to ensure users feel secure. The platform is all about addressing what users need by rolling out a bunch of safety features, providing helpful in-app tips, using smart fraud detection tech, and even teaming up with law enforcement when needed. Features like Photo Verification, Block Contacts, 'Are You Sure?', and 'Does This Bother You?', are all designed with your safety in mind. Plus, the Dating Safety Guide, launched last year, gives you the scoop on available safety tools and how to date safely. Initiatives like ‘Let’s Talk Consent’ also help young adults understand the importance of navigating consent in relationships.” In a statement shared with mid-day.com, the company elucidates the process followed if suspicious behaviour is reported on the app. It reads, “When someone reports on Tinder, the actions taken depend on the nature of the report. Broadly, when a report is filed, it initiates an agent to look into the activity and evaluate whether the behavior reported to us violates our community guidelines. If the person reported has violated our guidelines, we either issue a warning to the user or remove them from Tinder, depending on the severity and specific context of the offense. It’s important to note that a report does not automatically trigger de-platforming from Tinder, and aside from spam, all removals are actioned by a human moderator. In the case of suspected spam, impersonation, and other violations, the user will likely have the option to prove their identity before being permanently removed.” Bumble, another leading dating app in the country, also reiterated its commitment to safety. In a statement shared with mid-day.com, Global Spokesperson, Bumble, states, "As a platform that’s committed to helping people create safe and healthy relationships, Bumble takes the issue of safety seriously and we use a combination of technology and human moderators to diligently detect and investigate reports of any behaviour that goes against our community guidelines including fake, scam and spam profiles." "Our Photo Verification feature allows members to verify their photos. If a reported profile fails verification, it’s turned off and made invisible. You can also ask your matches to verify their photos and filter your matches to only show verified profiles, marked by a white shield icon," they add. Elaborating on the use of Artificial Intelligence to ensure safety, the statement reads, "Earlier this year, we introduced Deception Detector, which uses Artificial Intelligence to help identify spam, scam and fake profiles, aiming to take action before such profiles have the opportunity to interact with members. This technology is used in conjunction with our moderation operations team. This team may block or request verification when they run across suspicious profiles or notice certain profile attributes that may not meet our community guidelines." mid-day.com reached out to other dating apps, who remained unavailable for comment. Almost all dating apps have a 'Block and Report' feature to ensure comfort and safety. While a robust verification process is also in place, scammers still manage to make their way through. Legal aspects of safety on dating apps Bhatia highlights an often overlooked aspect on whom the onus of safety and protection also lies – law and order. “We need strong legal compliance and awareness. I should be feeling assured that if at something goes wrong, I will have aid. I know my rights. I know that the law will protect me. I am comfortable going to the police,” she states. Sadly, we’re not there yet. “Questions like ‘Aapko kisne bola tha itni raat ko jaane (who asked you to go this late at night)’ are asked instead of helping victims,” Bhatia laments. She states, “A stringent legal mechanism is required. Why are people careful while driving? Because they are scared that they’ll immediately be caught and punished if they make a mistake or cause any harm. The license will be cancelled and they will have to undergo a trial. This fear is required. I don't think we have established this fear when it comes to cybercrime and harassment.” What does the law say? Several laws can protect users from harassment, cybercrime, fraud and exploitation. Both dating apps and users should adhere to these. Advocate Prashant Mali, a cybersecurity, cyber law and data protection expert, and author, states the laws that can ensure safety on dating apps. 1. Intermediary liability and due diligence - As per the Information Technology (Intermediary Guidelines and Digital Media Ethics Code) Rules, 2021, dating apps are considered intermediaries under Indian law, meaning they must: Ensure safety measures: Apps must establish grievance redressal mechanisms to address user complaints related to abuse, harassment and other safety issues. Content moderation: They are required to remove offensive content (related to harassment, defamation or indecency) within a specific period if flagged by users or law enforcement. User verification: Dating apps must provide an option for users to verify their identities voluntarily, thus reducing anonymity, which can be used to perpetrate crimes. 2. Cyber harassment and stalking IPC Section 354D (BNS Section 78): Cyberstalking or harassment, which is common on dating apps, is a criminal offense under IPC Section 354D. Apps must facilitate users in reporting such offenses and cooperate with law enforcement. Sexual Harassment Laws: Any form of sexual harassment (unwanted explicit messages, obscene behavior, etc.) occurring on these platforms can be prosecuted under IPC Section 354A and Section 509 (BNS Section 76 and 79), which criminalise sexual harassment and indecent behavior. Grievance Redressal Officers: As per the 2021 intermediary rules, dating apps must appoint grievance officers who can handle complaints related to sexual harassment or safety concerns within a stipulated period (typically 24 hours for high-risk complaints). 3. Fraud and impersonation IPC Section 420 (BNS Section 318) (Cheating and Fraud): Dating apps must assist in cases where users are deceived, financially or emotionally, under pretenses, or where impersonation is used to gain personal information or finances. IT Act, 2000, Section 66C (Identity Theft): The IT Act criminalises identity theft, which can occur on dating platforms when users impersonate others. Apps must have verification mechanisms and cooperate with authorities to address such crimes. 4. User privacy and data safety - Dating apps are responsible for ensuring the security of personal data. If a data breach occurs, they may be held liable for failing to implement reasonable security practices under the Digital Personal Data Protection Act (DPDPA). 5. Obligations to report cybercrimes Reporting to Authorities: Dating apps are expected to cooperate with law enforcement by providing user data (such as IP addresses and phone numbers) in cases involving criminal activity or serious safety threats, based on valid legal requests. Child Exploitation and Abuse: Dating apps must ensure they do not facilitate any form of exploitation or child abuse. Under the Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Act (POCSO), strict penalties apply for any involvement in child exploitation. 6. Anti-obscenity and indecency laws - IPC Section 292 and 294 (BNS Sections 294 and 296) prohibit obscene content and actions. Dating apps must ensure that content uploaded or shared by users adheres to these laws, and indecent behavior can be reported and penalised. 7. Safety features and compliance with law enforcement - Dating apps are encouraged to implement in-app safety features like block, report or panic buttons that allow users to quickly report abusive behavior. They must also maintain a transparent process for escalating complaints to law enforcement in cases of severe threats to a user's safety. 8. Grievance redressal timelines - Dating apps must adhere to strict timelines for addressing grievances. For instance, in cases involving user safety, they must resolve complaints within 24-72 hours, depending on the severity of the issue. Additionally, members also have the duty under the DPDP Act not to provide wrongful data, They can be fined ₹10000 for the same by the Data Protection Board under DPDPA. Tips for navigating the world of dating apps safely When one puts oneself out there on dating apps, both physical and emotional safety become key concerns. Ruchi Ruuh, a relationship counsellor shares the following tips to navigate dating apps, keeping emotional safety as a priority. Take it slow and pace the relationship. Don’t rush into sharing deep personal details. Take time to build trust gradually before opening up emotionally. It’s easy to get sucked into the whirlwind of expectations based on people's profiles and communication. Remember that real connections take time. Keep your expectations realistic to avoid disappointment later. In the world of dating apps, rejection can happen and you must remember that it’s often about compatibility, not your worth or desirability. Recognise red flags: Pay attention to emotional manipulation tactics, such as love-bombing, creating a sense of urgency or guilt-tripping. If someone’s behavior feels overwhelming or inconsistent, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Can one spot potential risks on dating platforms? “It's not a hundred percent possible,” believes Bhatia. However, she suggests some red flags that one can look out for. Don’t trust everything immediately. Please go and cross-check on other social media. Anybody who is working today will have a LinkedIn profile. So, please verify. Don’t be in a rush. Don't get carried away and overshare because that's where we get manipulated. We stop seeing red flags because they start talking the language that we want to listen to. For example, they can see your profile. You have written that you’re looking for a serious relationship. They will converse in such a way they start resonating to what your idea is. That is where we get blinded and we stop being alert. See if it is too good to be true. It's not easy to spot, but if you're aware, you can. Most of these times where people build relationships, there's a lot of social engineering that happens. While they may not really have information on you, you end up giving a lot of information in the way you engage. Ruuh shares the following tips to ensure physical safety: Protect your personal information: Avoid sharing details like your full name, home address, workplace or financial information. Give preference to verified profiles and ask them to do so. Do a quick internet search or check their social media presence to confirm their identity. Trust your instincts: If something feels off, it probably is. Don’t be afraid to end a conversation or leave a date if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Set clear boundaries and expectations beforehand to avoid confusion later. While dating apps provide an opportunity to meet new people and explore relationships, they exist in the cyber world and pose risks that come with the territory. The cyber world, Bhatia believes, is largely a psychological place. “It's not just technology. Technology is the medium to access, but the world that you're entering is largely all about psychological skills. It is very emotionally triggering. Hence, we behave the way we behave. We all know that we are not supposed to share information with unknown people, but we end up doing that,” she explains. She suggests the ‘POV Model’ to ensure cyber safety, especially on dating apps. P stands for ‘practice the pause’. Never should you react, always respond. Response takes time. Take that pause, breathe, and take 10 seconds to reply. Think about it. O is replaced by 0 i.e., zero trust. You cannot trust blindly in the cyber world because it's all behind the screens. V is for verifying. Do not forget to verify everything. *Names changed or only first names used
26 September,2024 09:22 PM IST | Mumbai | Raaina Jain
Dating app, QuackQuack's, latest study on GenZ dating patterns and tendencies found that 47 per cent of GenZ daters prefer taking a slow-paced approach, calling it ‘simmer dating.’ This trend focuses on gradual buildup and emphasises patience while finding a partner. “Simmer dating is a slow-paced journey towards getting to know each other and exploring the connection, instead of rushing the process of commitment and exclusivity. It's about letting the relationship grow organically, and focuses on attracting a healthy partner,” explains the relationship coach Dhana Supriya Chheda. Preethi, a 25-year-old user of QuackQuack, feels that she needs time to get to know her matches. She explains, “I need to reach a level where we have moved on to deeper and what would otherwise be a sensitive conversation like lifestyle choices, religion, politics, etc. You can't rush dating, and you can't commit without knowing where the person stands. Taking it slow is the only way to evaluate whether your ideals and values align with your match.” While Preethi emphasises the need for deeper conversations to assess compatibility beyond superficial factors, 24-year-old Ajay concurs that it's unrealistic to fall in love instantly over chat. The New Delhi resident shares, “While dating online, slow dating is the best approach. It leaves less chance of error. You take some time to find a suitable person, match with her, take the conversation slow to make sure she is comfortable, and then once things are looking good, you decide to meet. That's the only way you will find a real connection.” The participants' answers suggest a shift away from instant gratification in relationships and toward lasting, meaningful connections. Chheda's exploration of this trend offers a comprehensive understanding of its popularity, potential benefits, and drawbacks.Also Read: Zeenat Aman sparks heated debate on live-in relationships: What you need to know Popularity among Gen ZRavi Mittal, founder and CEO of QuackQuack, highlights how the features of dating apps, such as easy connectivity, virtual interactions, and personalised profile browsing, facilitate a slow-paced approach to dating, especially for tech-savvy Gen Z. He shares, “Simmer dating gained traction primarily on dating apps; the ease of connectivity, staying in touch without meeting in person, the option to browse through different people's profiles till they meet the right one, the chance to interact and connect at their own pace- the opportunity for connections to simmer on these apps have a significant impact on the trend and helps promote safe and rush-free dating for youngsters.” "Gen Z are not in a rush, first of all. We don't face the same pressure to settle down as the millennials, which works in our favour. Secondly, we, as a generation, prioritise mindful dating practices and focus a great deal on mental health; to some extent, it's a lesson learned from our predecessors' errors. Simmer dating gives you the best result- fewer rejections and higher chances of a successful relationship, which directly leads to lowering dating-related stress," poses Ajay. Chedda credits the self-awareness of Gen Z, “Younger daters have realised that a committed relationship needs more than initial attraction or chemistry. While the current lifestyle is fast-paced and career-driven, Gen Z is much more aware of their feelings, boundaries, and their needs in comparison to the previous generations. They work on breaking toxic patterns, and pursue healthy relationships by communicating with consciousness and cultivating mutual respect.” How can individuals effectively communicate their intentions and expectations in a simmer dating situation? While taking things slow is a good approach to dating, it can be confusing for many young daters. It becomes critical to effectively communicate your intentions and expectations, Chedda suggests: HonestyBe honest with your intentions, are you looking for a long-term relationship? Are you unsure of a relationship, or are you just exploring the connections? This honesty will help you and others to save time and energy. For example: “Hey! I’m inclined towards creating a healthy and long-term relationship with a like-minded individual who respects and supports my values. What about you? “ BoundariesBe clear on communicating your emotional and physical boundaries. Let the other person know what is okay for you and what is not okay for you. For example: “I don’t prefer casual hookups, what are your boundaries when it comes to your physical and emotional space in dating?” ClarityBe clear on the qualities you are looking for, in a partner. Being specific about your interests can help you attract the one who is aligned with you. For example: “I like when my partner supports me in my goals and makes me feel safe. What qualities are important to you in a relationship?” Be mindfulDating is a wide space and an unknown environment, do not share your past, your secrets, your personal information, or pictures without the other person earning your trust. Let the other person build the trust with consistency. Prefer to share things mindfully as the relationship grows, instead of investing your emotions immediately within 1st or 2nd date. For example: “I don’t think we are that close yet to share my personal details, I prefer to share things as we move further, what do you think?” Connection building datesTry out the type of dates that build more emotional connection such as short coffee dates, visits to the gaming arcades, art therapy, comedy shows, etc. which helps you to create moments and avoid intimate dates initially that focus on sexual tension such as movies, house parties, long dinner dates, and car drives. For example: “I’m not comfortable with long drives on 1st dates, I prefer a short coffee date, and will that work for you? “ Also Read: Love, rain or shine: The ultimate guide to dating in monsoon Challenges and potential drawbacks Hyderabad-based Preethi tells us that not everyone is on board with the simmer dating, and it can be a challenge to find someone equally interested in taking things slow. While Ajay admits it can be frustrating at times, “For instance, when I like a match and would love to meet her ASAP. But it goes against my dating rules, which are there for a reason. The delay is necessary, but it's not a good feeling." Cheddha lists five potential drawbacks of simmer dating: ConfusionAs the individuals don’t have clarity on the level of commitment, this might lead to confusion. They might be left wondering if they should invest their emotions (and how deeply) into the relationship or not. HeartbreaksOne person might develop feelings faster than the other, if both of them are not on the same page, it might result in heartbreak and disappointment Mindless hobbyWithout clear intentions, simmer dating could become a way to simply pass time, by enjoying the attention and socialising without truly seeking a meaningful connection. UnpredictabilityAfter spending lot of time with someone, there is a risk that one person might change their mind, lose interest, or they might shift their attention towards someone else, which will lead to self-worth issues and loss of trust in love for the other. Violation of boundariesThe lack of clear boundaries and surety in simmer dating can lead to boundary crossing, where one might feel like pushing their emotional and physical commitments without exclusivity. Red flags of simmer dating The relationship expert also cautions of red flags in simmer dating that one must watch out for. “Warning signs or red flags while following this approach in dating often involve inconsistencies between words and actions, a lack of emotional investment, mixed signals, and a lack of clarity about future plans. When someone frequently texts but avoids meeting in person, shows little interest in your life, or exhibits negative behaviours like cheating or abuse, it's crucial to be cautious. Remember your partner is only an extension and expansion of who you are! Love yourself enough and let more love be added into your life through your partner,” shares Cheddha. By recognising and addressing these red flags early on, you can avoid wasting time and emotional energy on relationships that are not likely to be fulfilling. Advantages of simmer dating When asked if she believes simmer dating can lead to more fulfilling long-term relationships, Preethi replied instantly, “The more you know about the person, the more prepared you are for any bumps that come along the way. Plus, you know what to expect of that person. There's little scope for terrible surprises and miscommunication due to assumptions in the future." "When you make a conscious effort to know someone beyond the surface level, put in the time to understand their goals, outlooks, personalities, it is bound to make a difference. It leads to better understanding, more trust and respect, and less pressure to rush into a relationship-- all things crucial for a healthy relationship,” adds Ajay. Both seem to suggest that simmer dating aligns with the values of authenticity, transparency, and respect, which are increasingly important in modern relationships. Chedda dives deep into the advantages of simmer dating: ExplorationSimmer dating allows individuals to connect with others without the immediate pressure of commitment, and gives them the space to explore relationships at their own pace. Deeper connectionThe slow-paced journey creates more shared experiences, leading to a deeper emotional connection and better understanding between both individuals DecisivenessThe extended process of getting to know each other helps individuals make the right decisions in choosing their life partner. By the time they commit, they are more confident and fully invested in their choice. Stronger partnershipSpending more time together allows couples to become more comfortable with one another. This creates a solid foundation for working as a team in the relationship, making it easier to support each other and face challenges together in the future. GrowthIn traditional dating, people can mask their behaviours in the early stages, simmer dating allows individuals to be more authentic, and this provides room for growth and self-reflection. They can work on letting go of the behaviours that are no longer serving in the relationship. Preethi concludes by sharing her vision for future relationships, "Taking things slowly has been liberating for me, and taken off the stress to commit. I envision a relationship that makes me feel freer than bound, and is built on open communication without fearing judgment, mutual respect, and the patience to grow together as well as individuals at our own comfortable pace. The simmer dating trend has shown me the beauty in slowing down, and I want to carry that into my future relationship."
13 September,2024 10:36 AM IST | Mumbai | Maitrai AgarwalAs India’s festive season kicks into high gear, young singles are turning to cultural celebrations as their ideal first-date settings, according to a new survey. The survey conducted by Tinder reveals that 43 per cent of GenZs in India choose festivals and cultural events as their top first date choice. These vibrant gatherings offer a unique opportunity to connect in a fun, low-pressure environment. Additionally, nearly 30 per cent of Gen Zs in India actively seek out potential partners during these events, making the festive season a prime time for new connections. In Mumbai, where the buzz around Ganesh Chaturthi is at its peak, 38 per cent of young Mumbaikars believe that festivals and cultural events are the perfect time to introduce a date or match to their family and friends, keeping it low-pressure. Notably, 1 in 3 young singles in the city have used Tinder to find a date during a festival or cultural event, reflecting the city’s enthusiasm for blending tradition with modern dating practices. According to a survey, 37 per cent of Gen Z in India have swiped on dating apps for a friend, and close to a third have had friends swipe for them. Pratik, 26-year-old Tinder user from Mumbai, shares his story, “Ganesh Chaturthi has always been one of my favourite times of the year, so I figured, why not meet someone new during the festivities? I started using Tinder, and it felt like the perfect time because everyone’s in such a happy, celebratory mood. I matched with someone who loved the festival as much as I did. We decided to visit a pandal together, and even ended up bonding over our love for modaks! There was no pressure—just two people enjoying the festival, good food, and great company. It was honestly such a fun way to meet someone new.” Aditi Shorewal, communications lead, Tinder in India, “Festivals in India are all about connecting people, and with Tinder Matchmaker, we're making it even easier for your friends and family to join your dating journey. Community and social circles play a huge role in dating, and nothing brings everyone together like festivals and our Tinder Matchmaker feature. Embrace the festive vibe and let your loved ones help you find your match!” With Mumbai's festivities here, Dr Chandni Tugnait, dating & relationship expert, is teaming up with Tinder in India to share some fresh tips for acing those festive first dates:1. Update your profile: Revamp your Tinder with festive pictures in your best traditional gear and fun Ganesh Chaturthi icebreakers.2. Match over interests: Use interest tags to find matches who vibe with your hobbies and passions.3. Pick festive spots: Hit up lively markets or cafés decked out in festival decorations for a great date atmosphere.4. Dress the part: Rock an outfit that matches the celebration and shows off your festive spirit.5. Keep it chill: Soak up the festive fun without stressing about the date’s outcome.6. Savour local treats: Share local delicacies to add fun and flavour to your date.7. Consider group outings: If nervous, make it a group event and use Tinder Matchmaker to get friends involved in finding the right match.8. Be open and safe: Embrace new experiences, and use Tinder’s 'Share My Date' feature to ensure safety while enjoying the festivities.
08 September,2024 04:08 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondentOnline dating apps have made finding true connections much easier than it was a decade ago. Connections on dating apps are no longer limited to romance; more than half the online daters are constantly looking for genuine friendships. This Friendship Day, Indian dating app, QuackQuack, turned to its users to explore how they identify a friend from a potential partner while chatting with online matches. The app's founder and CEO, Ravi Mittal, commented, "When a connection does not work out romantically, it is no longer seen as a failed match. More than 30 per cent of the time, we see that the two people end up interacting as friends with no intentions of becoming anything more ever. Also, there are always some tell-tale signs that two people have more romantic chemistry than a friendly vibe. From the hours of interaction to the tone of it, sharing of details, or even the swiftness of reply, there are ways to tell which direction the relationship will take." 11,000 QuackQuack users (18-35) from Tier 1, 2, and 3 cities participated in the online study. They were asked a series of questions and requested to share their unique methods of identifying the nature of an online relationship. Responses varied according to age - the GenZ users were more focused on the depth of interaction. Whereas the Millennials mentioned tone, sharing personal information, and vulnerabilities as superior determining factors. Reactions were divided according to gender and the nature of work- working professionals in IT, healthcare, and finance sectors disclosed swiftness of replies meant more to them than tone because of their hectic schedule. InteractionAlmost 4 out of 5 people in the age group 18 to 26 mentioned noticing when a match is interested romantically, the interactions revolved around personal topics including emotional exchanges, discussions about life goals and family, and more interest and inquiries about their life. In contrast, interactions with potential friends are more casual and about general happenings of day-to-day life. Navneet Kaur, 21, said, "I do discuss future plans with a match who can be a genuine friend, but it is more like exchanging notes and acquiring useful information. For instance, I met Vishal, a CA. I am studying for the same. I got valuable insight on balancing work and personal life because it can be difficult in that sector." 36 per cent of working professionals above 30 also mentioned that if the relationship is going toward platonic friendship, the frequency of interaction and speed of replies will be understandably lower compared to exchanges with a romantic prospect. TonalityThe tone of the interaction will also indicate the nature of a relationship, said 31 per cent of women. While flirtation, endearing terms, and sometimes even a serious tone are regular indicators, these women mentioned using emojis while chatting can also indicate a romantic connection. Sakshi from Bengaluru commented, "I noticed my matches using way more emojis when they are romantically interested in me. I do the same. I suppose it is the virtual equivalent of flirtatious body language while dating IRL." Reactions27 per cent of men and women from Tier 1, 2, and 3 cities between 25 and 30 revealed someone romantically interested tends to react differently to talks of other matches. There are subtle signs of jealousy and even curiosity to understand if things are getting serious elsewhere. Emotional availability"Matches who think of you as a friend are supportive but nothing close to a match who sees you as a potential partner," said 33-year-old Nidhi, from Delhi. 35 per cent of QuackQuack users said romantic matches go out of their way to offer emotional support and are readily available. Attention to details29 per cent of men between 22 and 30 revealed when they have romantic interests in a match they pay a lot more attention to details. Rahul, a software engineer from Mumbai, said, "I dissect their bio to find out common traits to have a more meaningful conversation that will resonate on a deeper level. Basically, I am more invested when there's a chance of romance." The participants also mentioned that men tend to remember minute details like favourite food, movies, and important dates related to a match only when they are hoping for a potential romance.
04 August,2024 02:41 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondent
As the monsoon rains pour down relentlessly, they also present an opportunity to cultivate a different kind of magic – monsoon romance. Experts agree the cosy vibes and change of scenery create the perfect backdrop to deepen your connection. Whether you're a couple seeking an adventurous escapade in the rain or a pair who prefers a heartwarming indoor date, relationship gurus will guide you through the monsoon dating scene. They unveil a variety of options, from playful dashes to cosy evenings filled with shared laughter, all guaranteed to spark connection and turn your date into a cherished memory. Put away your umbrellas for a bit, because with our monsoon dating guide, you're all set to embrace the season's unique charm and create cherished memories. Leveraging monsoon for intimate datesMonsoon season, with its pitter-patter of rain and cosy vibes, offers a unique opportunity for couples to create a more intimate atmosphere for their dates. It presents a unique opportunity to reignite the romance for couples. “Forget the gloomy skies, monsoon has its charm. Couples can use this season to plan indoor activities that foster closeness, such as visiting art galleries, or enjoying board games. The sound of rain can enhance the experience, making it more serene and magical. For a more interactive date, cooking class is a fun idea. Monsoon also calls for simple pleasures like sharing a hot cup of masala chai or coffee at a cosy cafe with a window view, reminiscing about childhood memories and creating new ones,” suggests Karima Ben Abdelmalek, chief executive offer and president of happn. Conversation prompts to help you delve deeper We all know there comes a time when we fall into our routines, that conscious conversation falls behind. When we wish to spend quality time with our prospective, or current partners, leaning on conversation prompts can be an effective way to spark deeper connections and create lasting memories. “The happn trend report published in 2024 found icebreakers to be among the top 5 trends seen in India. Monsoon presents us with a great chance to break the monotony of dating and explore new avenues in real life. Visiting a local bookstore or a library and picking out books for each other can be a great way to spark discussions about interests, aspirations, and personal tastes. Alternatively, having a movie marathon with films that are significant to each other can lead to conversations about why those movies are meaningful, revealing more about each other's experiences and values,” poses Abdelmalek. Also read: Disabled aspirant recounts horrors from NET exam centre in Delhi The relationship expert suggests five conversation prompts for singles as well as couples: 1. Are you more of a dancer in the rain or appreciate the rain indoors sipping on chai kind of a person? 2. Rainy days always make me crave something delicious yet soothing. What's your favourite comfort food when it’s pouring outside? 3. What is your go-to rainy day playlist- sappy melancholic masterpieces or road trip bangers? 4. What is your rainy-day ritual? 5. What are some of your favourite memories of monsoons from your childhood? How to personalise monsoon dates to reflect interests and hobbies When you’re starting to see someone, it is essential to find common ground to spark a connection. One effective way to do this is by leveraging the interests and descriptors info tags available on dating apps. Based on Tinder’s Future of Dating Report published in 2023, it’s recommended to incorporate at least four descriptors and three interests to your bio to authentically showcase who you are. “This not only helps you attract like-minded matches but also sets the stage for meaningful connections based on shared interests. Remember, the best dates reflect when you are with someone who matches your quirkiness. So, embrace your unique interests, get creative, stay cosy, and make some monsoon memories that are you,” says Dr Chandni Tugnait, life coach and relationship expert partner with Tinder India. Below, she shares innovative ideas for couples with a wide range of interests: Fashionable duosConsider exploring a scenic indoor space for a creative photoshoot. Grab your phones and some cutesy props, and let the moody weather be your backdrop. Tech enthusiastsHow about a retro gaming marathon? Dust off that old console, stock up on snacks and battle it out in vintage multiplayer games. The loser buys bubble tea! Nature lovers This monsoon, turn your balcony or window sill into a mini herb garden. Plant some seeds together and watch your basil (and relationship) grow over time. FoodiesChallenge yourselves to create a gourmet meal using only what's in your pantry. Post your culinary masterpiece (or disaster) on your socials for some laughs. BookwormsStart your two-person book club. Pick a genre that's new to both of you and discuss homemade chai. Monsoon date ideas for different personalities As the rainy season sets in, it's the perfect time for couples to embrace diverse date ideas that align with their unique personalities. “It's also an opportunity to explore shared interests and experiences with your match, whether you're introverted or extroverted, adventurous, or seeking cosy moments. The rainy season offers a perfect backdrop for couples to explore date ideas that suit their unique personalities,” says Tugnait. She lists a mix of options catering to different personalities: For introverts Matchmaking with friendsIf you’re still in the process of matching with someone and not sure about it, go ahead and use Tinder’s Matchmaker feature and let your friend be your wing person. Your bestie's opinion might lead you to your perfect match. Video chatPlan a video chat to break the ice. Share your favourite books, movies, or hobbies to find common interests and get to know each other in a relaxed setting without any distractions. Puzzle marathonChallenge yourselves with a captivating jigsaw puzzle. As the rain creates a calming rhythm on the window pane, lose yourself in the quiet satisfaction of piecing it together, one satisfying click at a time. For extroverts Board game nightSelect a few engaging board games and spend the evening playing and chatting. This can be a great way to bond and have fun without any weather worries. Karaoke nightBelt out your love with a playful karaoke night featuring monsoon-themed classics! Think "Singing in the Rain" with a twist, or romantic Bollywood ballads perfect for a duet. For cozy couples Baking sessionWhisk up some romance in the kitchen! Whip up a batch of warm and comforting treats like crispy pakoras or decadent hot chocolate, perfect for sharing and creating sweet memories. Movie marathonCuddle up and create a haven filled with fluffy blankets and warm drinks. Dive into a movie marathon of your favourite films, classic rom-coms, or heartwarming monsoon-themed stories.For adventurous couples Urban explorationWear your raincoat and become an urban explorer! Seek out hidden alleyways and charming cafes that unveil the city's unique character during a drizzle. Monsoon photography challengeFor creative couples, compete to capture the most artistic rainy-day shots around your neighbourhood. Also read: Nashik: How Sula Vineyards is educating people about wine for the Indian palate
28 July,2024 09:12 AM IST | Mumbai | Maitrai Agarwal
In April this year, a shocking case was reported from China, a 20-year-old man was identified to have an unusual feeling that later turned out to be a Delusional Love Disorder. The second-year college student was certain that every single one of his female classmates had feelings for him. As the disorder grew, he began to exhibit "inappropriately bold displays of love" for them. But now that his ailment has been treated medically, he is recovering well, as per news reports. The experts suggest that Delusional love disorder, sometimes referred to as erotomania, is a frightening mental health condition in which a person believes that they are profoundly in love with a celebrity or person of higher status even if there is no proof to back up this view. This uncommon illness, which the DSM-5 categorises as a delusional illness, can have disastrous effects on the afflicted person as well as their imagined romantic partner. According to a South China Morning Post (SCMP) report, the man is a native of Jiangsu province in eastern China. His symptoms began to manifest in February and continued to get worse. All of his female students responded negatively to his approaches. But he saw the women's rejections as a sign that they were "too shy to accept his love." Krupa Nishar, Forensic Psychologist told mid-day.com, "Understanding the mental state of someone with Delusional Love Disorder (DLDD) requires examining the interplay of symptoms and signs." She added that the symptoms (Internal Experiences) may include- • Preoccupying delusions: The core symptom is the presence of unshakeable delusions. These are fixed beliefs that are not based on reality. In DLDD, the delusion centers around a perceived romantic relationship with a specific person, often someone the individual doesn't even know well. • Misinterpretations: People with DLDD misinterpret everyday interactions and actions as signs of love or reciprocation. A smile from a celebrity during a concert, a friendly email from a colleague, or even a simple "hello" can be seen as confirmation of their delusion. • Emotional distress: The constant fixation and misinterpretations can lead to significant emotional distress. Feelings of jealousy, possessiveness, and social isolation are common. • Obsessive thoughts: The perceived love interest becomes the center of their thoughts and emotions. They may spend a significant amount of time ruminating about the relationship and their interactions. Krupa added, in some cases, external behaviors may include, fixated attention in which the individuals with DLDD exhibit a relentless focus on their perceived love interest. This can manifest as excessive phone calls, emails, letters, or showing up at their workplace or home unannounced. She said that it may also include inappropriate behavior where the line between romantic gestures and harassment can blur. "Sending expensive gifts, overly personal messages, or public declarations of love are common signs. As the individual becomes fixated on the delusion, their social life may suffer. They may neglect friendships and relationships with family. The work performance and daily activities can be impacted by the all-consuming nature of the delusion. In some cases, if the advances are rejected or ignored, the individual may become angry or even threatening," Krupa said. It is crucial to keep in mind that every individual may uniquely experience DLDD. The indications and symptoms can differ in intensity. But identifying these warning signs can be essential to getting competent assistance before things get worse. The goal of treatment is to deal with the underlying illusions and provide patients with better coping skills. Krupa said, "Understanding the motivations behind these types of crimes is a critical task for forensic psychiatrists."
18 July,2024 12:19 PM IST | Mumbai | Asif RizviWithin the complex terrain of modern relationships, where love, desire and commitment converge, a sanctuary has formed, a space where discretion and desire mingle amid growing options and evolving social standards. The paradigm shift in Indian society can also be witnessed with the increase of +128 percent in the women user base of the dating App Gleeden in 2023 when compared to the same period of last year. To further get into the facts, the app conducted a pan-India survey with 1500+ users from Tier-1 & 2 Indian cities. The dating trends that came out prominently from the survey are briefed below: Closeness and ardourIt was revealed that close proximity has a significant impact on covert operations. Surprisingly, 28 percent of men and 27 percent of women prefer to find a paramour in their community, which increases the convenience of physical closeness. Mumbai (40 percent), Kolkata (35 percent), Kochi (14 percent), Hyderabad (22 percent) and Kolkata (35 percent) became the centres of activity for 25- to 35-year-olds in terms of local connections. Taking off without limitsClose-by towns or cities were the backdrop for covert meetings for those who were uncomfortable with local entanglements. The statistics showed that, in order to build relationships without having to worry about travel, 21 percent of men and 15% percent of women look for companions outside of their city. In terms of this trend, Bangalore (19 percent, Delhi (25 percent), and Kolkata (18 percent) stood out. Disappearing in the city bustleGleeden's survey revealed a preference for conducting business in large, anonymous metropolises. Delhi (10 percent), Bangalore (16 percent) and Kolkata (12 percent) emerged as the top discretionary locations, with only 11 pct of male users engaging in this activity. Digital dalliancesIn the era of digital technology, prudence is key. 17 percent of men and 15 percent of women prefer internet liaisons, which can be used as a cover for adultery. The cities of Bangalore (15 percent), Mumbai (12 percent), and Kolkata (26 percent) all demonstrated a preference for online flirtations. Different goalsGleeden shows up as a haven for a variety of needs, including making new friends, looking for company and developing existing ones. Unwaveringly, 34 percent of men and 42 percent of women swear allegiance to loyalty, with 51 percent in Bangalore, 27 percent in Mumbai, and 53 percent in Hyderabad pledging allegiance. This story has been sourced from a third party syndicated feed, agencies. Mid-day accepts no responsibility or liability for its dependability, trustworthiness, reliability and data of the text. Mid-day management/mid-day.com reserves the sole right to alter, delete or remove (without notice) the content in its absolute discretion for any reason whatsoever
12 July,2024 07:16 PM IST | Mumbai | IANSADVERTISEMENT
