'Heartbreak girl has now become my identity'

mid-day writer and romance novelist Aastha Atray Banan on walking the tightrope

I have been a published author (His Monsoon Bride and Games Girls Play) for around six years now, but recently after I started writing micro-fiction and poetry on Instagram, I started receiving more responses from readers.

I usually write about heartbreak — what one could and does feel when they are abandoned by the one they trusted. How does one cope with missing someone? How does one not ask "why did s/he do this to me?" I also write about the fact that sometimes, people just come into your life to make you feel something, set you on a path that you didn't know existed, and that we should be thankful for that. Lastly, my poems are about finding love, and lust, again.

It started off slowly, but I now have a steady and loyal following that reads everything I write, and people get added to that list every day. They send me messages that go from "only you get what I feel"; "my friends judge me, but I think you won't"; "I feel depressed and can't get over him. How do I do that?" to "How did you get the courage to go on, and create all this art out of the pain?" The fact that they feel I have gone through what they have, binds us, and that I am a propagator of happiness, is inspiring.

I now get at least 10 messages a day asking for love advice, prompting my friends and family to say, "You are not a therapist". When I was 23, and melancholic like only a romantic young girl can be, I thought only my favourite author, Haruki Murakami, understood me. I had thought of writing him a letter sharing my worldview, and tell him he wrote about love just the way I had imagined it. And. so when people write to me, I am first overwhelmed that they read my words, and relate to them. Then I try and help them with the most sound advice I can give — whether it's saying "don't let that stop you from loving again" or simply telling them not to forget how talented and gorgeous they are. I think I manage to help some of them. They tell me they are trying to move on, and putting all their energy into their work, into themselves. It's all about telling people they are not alone, and if I can make them feel like they have a friend in me when they read my words, my work is done.

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