Rule of thumb

Bumble’s recent nationwide survey revealed that one in three (38 per cent) single Indians hopes to see themselves in a committed relationship in 2021

Finding someone to love is hard enough, let alone in a pandemic. Dating apps can feel significantly different in the age of social distancing, given the difficulty in migrating your digital connections into the real world. There's only so much that you can glean about a person through in-app video chats and FaceTime calls. The
drink that you would've usually planned after a few successful hours of chatting, is no longer an available intervention.

All of which goes to suggest that "swiper's fatigue" is a legit global phenomenon. It's that old familiar feeling when dating starts to feel like a chore. While the possibilities and choices seem exciting at first, the effort it requires can be exhausting.

Prakriti Poddar, relationship expert and managing trustee at Poddar Foundation, says people leave dating apps due to boredom, stress and sometimes, when they find what they were looking for

Papri Dev, Senior Director, APAC Communications, Tinder, says social distancing and self-quarantine did not mean disconnecting for Tinder members. "Tied together by this unprecedented development, folks at Tinder became chattier than ever. In India, May 3rd, 2020 was the peak of chattiness where an average of 60 per cent more messages versus the beginning of the lockdown in early March were exchanged - much above the global average."

She says the pandemic taught them the power of conversational common ground powered by shared experiences. "On September 12th, for 3 consecutive weekends, Tinder® made its Swipe Night event available in India." Swipe Night is a first-person, in-app, interactive event where members could swipe at key points in the experience to move the story forward. "Their choices dictated more than just the story; they also impacted who they matched with and gave them an icebreaker to chat about through a shared experience.

Jitesh Bisht, CEO, HiHi, a homegrown dating app, says when they launched in August 2020, within six months, their user base grew from zero to over 250k user downloads. "But, during the first 10 days of April this year, we noticed a slight drawdown in daily activations." Although the numbers are improving, Bisht says modern day dating apps need to be aware of fatigue. "For now, we have a familiar swipe model and icons to tap, because it is a simple format that everyone understands. But, we realised that there are more things that should be done to make the app interesting and attractive." As a result, HiHi has launched two new features, Flirtcast and Charm. With Flirtcast, a user can broadcast a message to several nearby people at once. The message can reflect his or her mood or be a simple and short generic text to catch the attention of like-minded folks. Charm is a set of personalised messages suggested by HiHi's machine learning algorithm. It is used as an icebreaker by a user to show greater intent to start a conversation with a specific user. Bisht says the thrust is also on "better matchmaking". "We did this by changing the user selection strategy with a seven-step funnel approach, which collects data at every step and helps the algorithm to match profiles as well. These are parametres like religion, diet preferences and political leanings that the user can specify."

Jitesh Bisht, CEO, HiHi, a homegrown dating app, says now, the thrust is also on "better matchmaking". They have done this by changing the user selection strategy with a seven-step funnel approach, which collects data at every step and helps the algorithm to match profiles well

The Coronavirus-induced restrictions may have altered the way we interact with each other, but our need for human connection is intact, thinks Samarpita Samaddar, communications director at Bumble India. "Single Indians feel the need to build trust before meeting in-person, which has given rise to slow dating. This means people are taking more time to get to know each other better. They want to have fulfilling conversations that could lead to a new connection, and video calls are proving to be an effective tool to form these connections." Pre-dates are essentially video dates that help a user get to know another before scheduling a meeting. Samaddar has observed an increased use of, and extended duration of video chats since the lockdown last year, with Bumble India users spending roughly 20 minutes on an average on a video call or voice chat. Bumble India launched in 2019 as a platform that challenged outdated gender norms of dating, letting users connect with dates, friends and business partners with confidence. Recently, it launched the "COVID Preferences'' feature. This provides users a large selection of choices to showcase exactly how they want to date (virtually or socially-distanced with masks), and what precautions they want to take. "Additionally, users can now select and add up to five ‘interest badges' from over 150 categories that range in various categories, including sports, creative hobbies, preferred choice of activities while choosing to stay in, favourite movies, television shows, music and books. People can also choose to showcase their values and personality traits along with expressing their choice of allyship and support for various social causes."

OkCupid, which debuted in 2004, making it one of India's OG dating sites, is powered by an algorithm informed by user responses to almost 3,000 questions. Last month, they released their first global Climate Change Advocate Profile Badge and Stack. Incidentally, it was inspired by a survey that showed environmental concerns top the chart, with daters in India (45 per cent), UK (47 per cent ), US (41 per cent) and Turkey (36 per cent) agreeing it was of critical importance to them. The second most important cause to emerge for millennial daters was world peace, followed by eradicating disease.

Priyanka Ghura Kuka and Tanisha Ghura Kanani of Not So Arranged

Samaddar says that the survey conducted by Bumble reveals that when it comes to making a connection online, education and career choices matter most to single Indians, followed by dating intentions. However, the top most deciding factor when meeting someone in-person is compatibility (23 per cent). She acknowledges that the need to take a break from dating apps is an important factor while designing strategies. "For them [those seeking a break], we have the ‘snooze' mode that allows you to pause your activity on Bumble, including options for prioritising mental well-being and even a digital detox."

Prakriti Poddar is a relationship expert and managing trustee at Poddar Foundation. She says according to a survey conducted in the US in 2020, the top three reasons people delete dating apps are boredom, stress and when they eventually find what they were looking for. "The reasons are largely the same in India, too. Many users who have been searching for a partner for a while, may choose to quit temporarily or permanently. We get both kinds - those who have just entered the world of dating apps are more likely to continue searching for the right match, and those who are ambivalent and may quit the search altogether. But most of them choose to search after a break."

Samarpita Samaddar

Sister duo Priyanka Ghura Kuka and Tanisha Ghura Kanani are the founders of Not So Arranged. A website that calls itself one for "serious dating", it launched in India last month. Kanani says, "Our site doesn't allow for swiping or what we call window shopping. Combined with our compatibility quiz and ‘face to face' get to know you sesh, we want to take dating offline," she says. The compatibility test is curated by Panna Kamaljit, a psychologist with experience in relationship and pre-marital counselling. "Our approach focuses on quality, by blending psychology with dating behaviour." Kuka believes dating apps have lent a superficiality to dating, and with all the doom and gloom around us, there are users who have been low and disinterested. "But there are those who look at us as an avenue of hope, to help them seek that meaningful relationship."

Poddar's cardinal advice to those on the app is to keep their expectations low when they meet someone. "There are good, genuine people on apps, but there are fake people too. Give yourself and the connection some time to understand each other before you set your expectations. The trick is to figure yourself and the other person as much as you can to help set realistic goals that can be met by both."

According to Samaddar, Bumble's recent nationwide survey also revealed that one in three (38 per cent) single Indians hopes to see themselves in a committed relationship in 2021. "Despite everything, there is hope."

20
No. of minutes Bumble India users are spending on pre-dates or video calls in an attempt to know the other better before an in-person meet up

45 per cent
Percentage of OK Cupid users in India who listed environmental concerns as a top priority