Mumbai food: Why this Asian bistro in Tardeo fails to impress

The Chicken Teppanyaki was the only saving grace from what we tried

Even efore we stepped into Upstairs, we heard dance music blaring from the speakers inside. The staffers were lolling about aimlessly until they saw us, and their eyes lit up. Considering it was a holiday for most in the city that night, we were surprised to find we were the first diners to arrive.

The outdoor seating area, although pretty in pictures, looks far from it in reality

Opened in late September, this rooftop bistro claims to offer pan-Asian cuisine from over 15 Asian destinations. The ambience, music aside, was veering towards tacky, with a giant golden Buddha statue gracing the outdoor area.

A group of about six people, dressed to the nines, walked in around the same time our drinks arrived. Because we were feeling adventurous, we didn't bother asking our server what goes into the Water Pipe ('350), which the menu only described as a ‘vibrant cocktail.' Unfortunately for us, the mystery ingredient turned out to be paan masala (the other two ingredients being vodka and soda). The mocktail, Coco Jumbo ('150), didn't fare well either. My companion found that it was cloyingly sweet and tasted nothing like the ingredients listed, which were watermelon, coconut water and cardamom.

Although upset, we persevered; surely the food would win us over. The menu looked ambitious, cramming in five pages of Asian dishes. We ordered two appetisers and two picks from the dim sum section.

The julienned vegetables in the Vietnamese Rice Paper Rolls ('210) were all crunch and lacked herbs or seasoning of any kind, with the punchy dipping sauce expected to make up for it (in case you were wondering, it didn't). The Char Siew Pao Chicken ('230) too, fell short. The buns were steamed to perfection, but the filling had none of that smoky barbeque flavour we've come to expect from a good char siu.

Turns out we weren't alone in our misery. We overheard someone from the group seated beside us whine, "But so many food bloggers raved about this place when it opened." Our thoughts exactly.

Our first main, a Japanese Chicken Teppanyaki ('350) featured stir-fried chicken and noodles served on a griddle pan. Thankfully, the soy glaze on the chicken was just perfect, packing in plenty of umame flavour. Salvation. Our
relief, however, was short lived.

Our second main, the Burmese Khao Suey ('400), is one we turn to when we're seeking fancy comfort food (we love you too, dal khichdi). At Upstairs, what we got was a watered down version that should have been ashamed to call itself a curry.

The only reason anyone should head here is for the special offer - every straight drink you order is cheaper than the previous, with the fourth one being free. Otherwise, you're better off not going upstairs.

At: 5th Floor, Konarkshram Building, Tardeo
Call: 33716072