'My husband is so useless...'

Dear Diana,
I have been married for two years. My husband is proving to be a good-for-nothing. He joined a gym recently, but barely went for a week. He is a couch potato and does not help me with household chores. As a result, he is gaining weight and suffering from diabetes. He also switches jobs every few months due to which we are always low on funds. In the first year of marriage, he was okay, but now he has become a pain. He cribs about everything. I work as a teacher and give tuitions to supplement the income. I don't think anyone can change him. He is simply atrocious and always finds faults in others. His family, who is based in Goa, have also given up on him. I feel like leaving him, but then at times he is loving and caring making me wonder if I am doing the right thing. I am confused and do not know what to do? Should I give him an ultimatum?
- Mohini

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Mohini,
You are living with a man who has scant respect for you. If he cared for you, he would not behave in such an atrocious manner. This man certainly needs to be shaken up. He seems to be living in his own world and feels that he can get away with everything. You need to give him an ultimatum. If he does not change - or at least show signs of changing, there is no point sticking around. He may be sweet and caring, but that is only for a while. He has made life a living hell for you. You need to walk out on him. For a while, go stay with a friend or your folks. Hopefully, common sense will prevail and he will shape up. If he does not, you are happier and better without him.