'My ex called my friends to tell them what went wrong...'

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
I recently split from my boyfriend. After we went our ways, he started telling my friends what went wrong in the relationship. The kind of stuff that he has been telling them is shocking. He is not only blaming me for it, but spilling out personal details as well. He spent nearly an hour on the phone discussing me with a common friend. I feel so hurt and humiliated by this. Most of what he has told them is lies. Ever since we broke up, we have not been in touch. After hearing all this, I called and sent him a message, but he did not reply. At the same time, he has been telling more and more of our common friends about me. How do I stop him from spreading utter nonsense about me?
- Anushree

Dear Anushree,
Your guy is accusing you and wants to hurt you even after the break up. The pals may be giving him a patient ear initially, but that does not mean they have to believe whatever he says. It is strange that they are not telling him to keep it in limits and not go overboard in revealing all the personal details. Also, why are they encouraging him by letting him vent his ire? If they are your pals, they should knock sense into his head. He is trying to turn it all on you by levelling accusations at you. You could also speak to the common pals and say how you feel about the situation. If they are listening to him, they need to give you a patient ear too. Importantly, remain calm and seek out the friends that you feel you may be able to trust. If things get out of control, you have every right to question him and stop him from slandering you.