'I'm clueless about my wife-to-be...'

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
I'm 27 and my parents have fixed my marriage for next month. I have seen the girl only once when we went to her home in Surat to fix the match. I don't have a girlfriend, so my parents found a suitable match for me. Now I am getting the jitters as I barely know my wife-to-be. What if I detest her mannerisms? My family keeps telling me she is perfect for me and that I will start liking her after marriage. I live in Mumbai, so how do I get to know her?
- Rasik


Illustration/Amit Bandre

Dear Rasik,
Your apprehensions and fears are justified. Your parents want you to be happy and have found someone they feel is the best bet for you. At the same time, it is you who will be her life partner, so getting to know her will help you. You could speak to her on the phone to gauge what kind of a person she is. If she is on social media, you can also check out her profile and pictures. Also, if you voice your fears to your parents, I am sure they will understand and help you get to know her. The girl too might have the same set of anxieties and may also want to meet you.

Dear Diana,
I feel my guy is not in love with me anymore. Every time we have an argument, it is like the end. He now tells me he doesn't need this stress in his life. I just don't know if I should just leave him, or stick it out and hope things get better. The daily squabbling is taking a toll on me too.
- Bhoomika

Dear Bhoomika,
It is clear that something has gone wrong in the relationship if you keep fighting. Discuss what is going on and what leads to frayed nerves. A relationship is based on trust, but in your case you two are constantly at loggerheads. Over a period of time, this is going to be a source of chaos in your lives. Instead of fighting, find out what ails the relationship.